SKIRTING THROUGH LIFE
by SLYSWN
Summary: ..."Rather than cursing the heavens for giving you a girlish figure and orange hair, you should embrace it as a gift and use your looks to your advantage." Of course when Masaki said these words she probably hadn't meant that Ichigo should "embrace his feminine looks" in the literal sense but Ichigo decided why not? (AU, uber OOC-ness, cross-dressing, berry chasers a plenty)
1. PROLOGUE

Disclaimer: BLEACH it's what's for dinner, lunch, breakfast and snack time. And Kubo-sensei owns it all.

A/N Yes I'm starting another story…well more like a mini series but anyway I know I have plenty of WIPS that need attention but I really wanted to write something fun and new…especially since it's July aka the month of the orange berry.

Warnings: AU, cross-dressing, uber OOC-ness, IshixIchi, GrimmxIchi, AixIchi, ByaxIchi, OthersIchi, other pairings mentioned, language, punctuation, grammar, spelling, errors abound, switching views and …lemons down the line.

()()

This series is dedicated to and inspired by _**Castiel4Life.**_ With her encouragement input, ideas and brilliance this series will be completed in no time, so thank you **Cas! **

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Full Summary: _Before her official departure from his life, Ichigo's mother Masaki, left him with a piece of advice that would stay with the berry all through his teen years..."Rather than cursing the heavens for giving you a girlish figure and orange hair, you should embrace it as a gift and use your looks to your advantage."_

Of course when Masaki said these words she probably hadn't meant that Ichigo should "embrace his feminine looks" in the literal sense but Ichigo decided why not?

()

_**SKIRTING**_ through _**LIFE**_

_PROLOGUE _

_Ichigo is a bright boy of 12 years old when his mother, Masaki, pulls him aside one bright and sunny afternoon and announces that she is leaving. _

_Leaving as in 'goodbye, so long, farewell, never to return again' and suddenly as if on cue, clouds cover the sky, thunder rumbles, lightening strikes and Ichigo is drenched from head to toe._

_Spiky tufts of orange hair matted down, shielding his heart broken expression, masking his tears, drowning his would be protests._

_Ichigo is not entirely shocked. He's been expecting this for some time now. Dreading the moment. Knowing that no matter how much he wished-no matter how much he prayed, it was inevitable his Kaa-san and goat face were drifting apart. _

_What the fairy tales often preached couldn't be further from the truth._

_Nothing lasts forever._

"_It's not because I've stopped loving your father, he is my first, last and always and forever."_

_Yes Ichigo knew this too. Despite their differences there was no greater or deeper love than that of his parents._

"_And it's not because I've stopped loving you, for you are my little guardian in my darkest hours, my sweet, sweet boy." Her hands brushed against his cheek while her lips touched his forehead._

_Ichigo treasures this moment just as he has treasured all other moments spent with his mother. He released a heavy sigh, shoulders sagging. If only he could say something-do something in order to convince his Kaa-san to stay-if only-_

_But it was useless. This Ichigo knew. Her bags were packed. Her dresser drawers (all but the one) and closets empty._

"_Where will you go?"_

_Ichigo knew he could not follow. Knew he could not beg him mother to take him with her. Knew that when the woman disappeared she would disappear completely, not wishing to be found._

_Masaki shook her head. "It is not something you should concern yourself with at this time but perhaps one day when you are older, perhaps then I will tell you."_

_Ichigo scowled. He pretty much figured his mother would say something along these lines but it didn't make it any easier to listen to. _

_Didn't make it hurt less. He pinched his arm repeatedly, hoping for the pain to stop, hoping for this nightmare to end because this couldn't really be happening. It just couldn't._

_But it was. It was and Ichigo felt like he couldn't breathe and wanted to vomit all at the same time._

'_**It's not true, this isn't-this can't be happening.' **__He shook his head more fiercely and then looked up at his mother, eyes pleading with her__** 'don't to do this-don't leave me!'**_

_Masaki is not a cruel woman. She does not just stand there and do nothing while her precious boy falls apart on the front steps._

_Instead she reached for Ichigo, pulls him tightly to her bosom as if were a new born babe and not a pre-teen and holds him the only way a mother can hold her child._

_Ichigo no longer tries to fight back the sobs-no longer tries to be a "big-boy"-nothing matters except here and now. Here and now he is safe in Kaa-san's arms. The woman who nurtured and cared for him, the woman who will always love him no matter what._

_Even if she walks away today she will not stop loving him and Ichigo will not stop loving her._

_Ichigo holds on tightly to his mother-no longer caring that he'll be soaked to the bone-that he'll probably catch a cold-that the nosy next door neighbors are probably watching from their windows or rooftops._

_()()_

_Time stands still. Minutes-hours tick by very slowly. Ichigo's teeth are chattering, he can barely feel his toes or fingertips and the warmth is leaving both his and his mother's bodies. _

_Masaki is singing Ichigo's favorite childhood lullaby, voice barely above a whisper, her hands half frozen she continuously pets her precious boys' hair._

_()_

_The loud obnoxious honking of a car horn is sounded. Time starts to move again. Too quickly. Much too quickly for Ichigo's likening._

_His mother is pulling away form him now, removing her navy blue military style jacket; she bends down and drapes the jacket around his slim shoulders (the inside is surprisingly dry)_

_Her thumb brushes his cheek once more and she smiles at him._

"_Before I leave there is something I must ask of you Ichigo."_

_Something she must ask of him. Ichigo blinks. What does Kaa-san mean by that? He raises a curious brow and Masaki's smile widens,_

"_Embrace who you are."_

_The scowl is back on the boy's face and he scrunches his nose in distaste. "But Kaa-san how am I supposed to "embrace who I am" when Tatsuki and everyone else is always telling me that I'm too scrawny? _

_And goat face and Uncle Kai are always telling me that I need to drink more milk and train harder in order to grow up big and strong like them? How am I supposed to "embrace who I am" when the girls in my class only wanna date then bad boys and-_

"_Ichigo we've been over this before," Masaki's tone although reprimanding is light, "There is nothing wrong with you."_

"_Tch! Yeah right," here the boy rolls his big brown eyes, "Cuz it's totally __**natural**__ for a boy to have orange hair and girly chicken legs."_

_Masaki laughs lightly and Ichigo is miffed._

"_Kaa-san it's not funny! No one is ever gonna take me seriously or marry me when I look like this!"_

_Masaki knelt down once more so that she could meet her son eye to eye. _

"_Ichigo, listen to me, rather than curse the heavens for giving you a girlish figure and fire-colored locks you should embrace it as a gift and use your exotic looks to your advantage." Here she winked at him "Promise you'll do this for me and for yourself, Ichigo?"_

_Ichigo didn't want to argue with his mother or displease her on their last official afternoon together and so he nodded his head and vowed, "I promise Kaa-san."_

_()()_

_Of course when Masaki said these words she probably hadn't meant that Ichigo should embrace his feminine figure in the literal sense. _

_But after a year of living with out his mother near by and only having memories and photos to remind him of the better times spent…_

_While goat face was out by the lake fishing with the other locals, Ichigo went rummaging through his parents bedroom all in the hopes of finding something more-something else that could tie him to his mother._

_It happened on one chilly winter morning…_

_Ichigo discovered an old box hidden at the bottom of the drawer that his Kaa-san had apparently missed during her packing._

_Not knowing what he would find but excited all the same Ichigo lifted the lid and pulled out a navy blue wool skirt._

_An idea quickly forming in his mind, he set the box to the side for a moment and went to find a mirror._

_()_

_Ichigo held the skirt up to his waist while he stood in front of the full-length mirror inside the bathroom and grinned at his reflection…__**'Not bad, not bad at all.'**_

_School would resume next week…it would be the perfect time to make good on his vow…the ideal time to embrace his true self._

_And so Ichigo decided why not?_

_()()_

_**THANK YOU FOR READING! HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!**_

_~SLY~_


	2. 001 ZANBACH

**Disclaimer: Can't enough of that golden BLEACH…no we can't Kubo-sensei!**

**A/N slight warning/spoiler for those who are not caught up on recent bleach saga/chapters. Also Ichigo will grow up throughout the series and the switching view points starts now…**

Dedicated to/Inspired by: Cas

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, everything I announced before

Pairings: PLENTY. GRINS.

_THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE DECIDED TO DIVE/FAVE THE ICHI-SKIRT MINI SERIES and a special extra thank you to __**Castiel4Life**__ for dropping a review even though it was just a prologue. Let's see what you all think of the official first chapter eh?_

~SLY~

()()()

_**SKIRTING**__ through __**LIFE **_

_**001 ZAN BACH**_

_**(Winter ~ Age 14)**_

_**And so Ichigo's skirt wearing days began…**_

_**The skirt he had found in the box hidden inside his mothers drawer was a perfect fit. Well almost perfect, there was an inch or two of space but that could easily be fixed with a belt.**_

_**Ichigo took another peak inside the box and discovered a thin red cord.**_

'_**Perfect.'**_

_**Now all he needed was shoes.**_

_**Kicking aside his father's not so secret stash of dirty porn mags, Ichigo rummaged in the back of the goats closet. His father Isshin, despite being a pretty big man, didn't have big feet. **_

_**So yes the John Deere's would do nicely since after all Ichigo couldn't very well go stomping around in 3 feet of snow in heels. **_

_**Plus he wasn't quite ready for heels yet since after all he was only fourteen and fourteen year old boys shouldn't over or under dress.**_

_**()()**_

His classmates and friends gawked at him when he stepped off the bus, mixtures of shock, envy and disgust written across their faces.

His teachers found it difficult to reprimand Ichigo or issue him a detention because he was still technically abiding by the dress code.

But that didn't mean Ichigo didn't run into a few roadblocks because he did…

A certain white-faced hall monitor who simply went by the name "Shiro" stopped Ichigo on his way to class and proceeded to inform the berry that he was "in trouble"-well actually Shiro's exact words had been "_Ya are in deep shit now Ichi_" but same damn thing really.

Ichigo never cared much for older boy. Couldn't decide if it was because of Shiro's creepy golden eyes or the way the hall monitor tended to abuse his power.

Shiro grabbed Ichigo none-too-gently and dragged him through the hall and towards the principal's office.

()

"Ya just wait here a sec Ichi, I gotta go inform his majesty of ya arrival."

Ichigo although mildly confused and irritated waited patiently on the bench just outside of the principal's office.

After a moment or two Ichigo heard the deep resonating voice on the other side of the door telling him to "Enter" and swallowed the invisible lump suddenly forming in his throat.

This was it-the moment he would surely be expelled or something.

'_Ah well best to get it over with now rather than drag out it'_ Ichigo decided.

()()

"I don't want you to think you're in any kind of trouble Ichigo but you have to understand that as principal of this school certain things are expected of me and I can not play favorites."

Ichigo said nothing. Although the man's chair was currently turned away from him, he didn't want to make matters worse by saying or doing something stupid.

Especially since the principal could see his each and every movement through the mirror.

"Your outfit today has caused quite an uproar," at these words the man turned his chair around and faced Ichigo at last. "And I've received several calls and complaints all morning from concerned parents and a number of angry texts from the superintendent himself, so you see my hands are kind of tied here."

Ichigo's orange brows furrowed together and he bowed his head lowly in order to mask his shock-the man sitting behind the desk was nothing at all like he had expected, nothing at all like the rumors had suggested.

Tall, lean and pale skinned with burgundy and black colored locks of hair falling about mid-length, dark eyes, beautiful high cheekbones, perfectly trimmed stubble around his mouth and jaw.

Ichigo couldn't help it he was kind of in a daze of sorts all of sudden.

Wasn't even really paying attention to what the man was telling him. Not really.

"I can not let you go back out there dressed as you are."

Weather worn knuckles rapped on the desk calling the boy to attention.

"…"

Ichigo jumped "Uh um oh are you sending me home, sir?"

Honestly he didn't really care either way since the next period was gym class and he really had no desire to climb ropes or jump over walls or do whatever else Coach "Shihoin" wanted him and his classmates to do.

"No I'm not sending you home for wearing a skirt, that would be entirely unfair not to mention prejudice. And Seirei Academy prides itself on embracing all it students regardless of race, color, gender or religion."

"Then what are you telling me, sir?"

Bach stood up just then, something flashing in his deep, dark eyes as he commanded that Ichigo call him…

"It's Zangetsu or Zan but please not sir I hate being called sir especially by one of my finest students."

Ichigo blushed. He couldn't help it.

It was quite a compliment to receive from a man like Principal "Bach" or "Zan"-especially since rumor had it that "Bach/Zan" had a bit of a checkered past and wasn't exactly the most patient, forgiving or understanding of men.

Still Ichigo didn't pay much attention to rumors, sitting here and now inside the man's office, he decided "Bach/Zan" wasn't so bad.

Well actually that was another thing everyone called the man Bach or Principal Bach-but Ichigo had once over heard the name "Yhwah Vandenreich" uttered in conversation and figured that the man had probably simplified it because of its difficult pronunciation.

Then again maybe "Bach/Zan" simply didn't care for his name. Ichigo had no way of knowing. And decided it didn't matter because "Yhwah and Bach and Zan" were one and the same.

And right now this "man" was being lenient with him.

"Um then what are you trying to tell me, Sir I mean Zan?"

There was a moment's pause while Principal "Bach/Zan" turned to look out the window. Ichigo didn't really know what else he should do so he sat patiently once more and waited for the man's response.

()

Clueless and just as innocent as a lamb that wandered onto a land run by wolves, that's what the boy was. And heaven help him, Zan/Bach wanted to ruin and taint and strip said innocence from said 'lamb'.

Ichigo was already a knock out with his flawless peach-toned skin, expressive wide brown eyes and fire-orange locks-he filled out a uniform far better than a 14-year-old boy had any right to.

Small boned, with a thin waist and beautiful legs and the boy still had growing to do. Ichigo was still in the awkward weed stage, hadn't fully developed his muscles or grown into his shoes but-_oh the potential!_

Zangetsu "Bach" Vandenreich adjusted his waistcoat in order to hide his growing erection.

From the very moment Ichigo stepped foot into his office, it had been exceedingly difficult to keep a clear head-it had taken every ounce of Zan's strength and will power not to reach out and caress one of the boys' lacy-stocking clad thighs or his perfect posterior-it was a modest skirt, made out of wool and navy blue in color falling just below the knee and yet being who Ichigo was, he made simple look _positively_ sinful.

And those boots and the military style jacket? The most seemingly boyish parts of the boys' outfit today-set the whole look off.

'_Damn if only I were a few years younger'_

Yes if only he were a few years younger, Zan could have at the very least licked the single droplet of crimson staining the corner of Ichigo's mouth.

If only Zan/Bach wasn't a man of morals he could…

He could wait. He would wait. In 3 or 4 years Ichigo would graduate. And by that time Ichigo would be ripe and more importantly the boy, _HIS_ boy, would be fully legal.

Zan mentally willed his erection to soften and then turned back around.

"I have come to a decision."

A pause…simply for dramatic effect purposes only and nothing more…

"You will join the drama club. It is my understanding that they are seeking a new _"Keri-dee_" and I have decided that you will fill this role and then no one will be able to stop or question your wardrobe."

()

"Drama club?" Ichigo was totally baffled. Well that was a bit erm…random wasn't it?

It almost seemed like Zan might laugh at him just then but the man did not instead he continued, "Yes you will join the drama club, Ichigo and then that way no one can object to you wearing a skirt."

Hmm. Well it sounded like it might be kind of fun. Ichigo didn't know anything about acting but he was always anxious/ready to try new things.

Maybe he could even acquire another outfit in the process.

It would be a double win.

And somewhere out there in the world he knew Kaa-san would be smiling.

At the thought, a bright grin blossomed on to Ichigo's face. He stood up, bowed and said, "If joining the drama club will stop people from talking a bunch of crap then I'll do it!"

()

Zan could feel a grin of triumph threatening to tug at his own lips but managed to keep it at bay.

Clearing his throat, the man reached into the drawer of his desk and pulled out a small booklet of post-its and a pen. He then scribbled out a brief letter informing the drama club of Ichigo's "choice" to join them later that afternoon.

"You will report to the club at 2:30 pm."

"Two-thirty but its only 11' o clock now-

()

Ichigo didn't want to be difficult or anything especially since Zan had given him an easy pass but- "I don't quite understand, am I in trouble after all? Is this your way of telling me I should sit back down and serve detention or something with you?"

()

Oh if only Zan could abuse his authority in such a way. If only he could spend a few more hours gawking at the delicious fruit bowing before him.

"No Ichigo you do not have to stay here. You can return to your classes just as soon as you change your clothes."

()

Change his clothes? But he hadn't bought an extra change of clothes. The only other thing Ichigo could change into were-

"Well I guess I could wear my gym sweats or something."

Zan/Bach nodded. "That will do." He passed Ichigo the note and dismissed the youth, "Now go you don't want to be late."

Ichigo bowed once more and left.

()()

Zan listened for the retreating footsteps and then walked over to the small closet door next to his desk and knocked on it twice. "You can come out now Shiro."

The door opened and a powdered youth of 17 years of age stepped outside of the small closet, his gold eyes shining with an equal amount of glee and perversion. He grinned up at Zan, "So how'd it go?"

Zan glared down at the powdered hall monitor. "You know very well how it went," dark eyes flashing, the man grabbed a fist full of Shiro's long powdered locks and made it clear that discussion time was over, "Rather than wasting time running your mouth I'd prefer if you put it to better use."

Shiro's grin widened and he licked his cherry-black painted lips, tongue ring glittering as he did so, dropped down to his knees, crawled forward and reached for Zan's belt. "As ya wish your _Majesty."_ (1)

_**()()**_

_**TBC**_

_**BOTTOM NOTES: LMAO yes I had to go there…I had to…I've always been and will always be a fan of Zangetsu…the shocking new of who the man really is…well yeah so that's my excuse. Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter!**_

_**~SLY~**_


	3. 002 CUTER THAN

Disclaimer: A cat stopped by and waved with its paw and I waved back…then I woke up and realized something…I'm not Kubo-sensei!

Dedicated to and inspired by: **CASTIEL4LIFE**

THANK YOU TO ALL READERS/FOLLOWERS of this series!

Special thanks to **Cas and darkheart133** for dropping reviews. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

A/N This chapter features jealousy and bits of bullying. I do not condone bullying under any circumstances…I am a firm believer in karma and justice being served…but sometimes its necessary to do these kinds of scenes in order to carry on with the story…that being said please ENJOY!

Warnings: **Uber OOC**-ness, AU, Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, Jealous bitches (both of the male and female variety) berry chasers/admirers…etc

()()

_**SKIRTING **__through__** LIFE**_

**002** CUTER THAN…

Ichigo tried to enter the gym with out drawing too much attention. He figured his best strategy was to hide behind the taller students but he should have known his efforts were pointless when a familiar whistle sounded next to his ear followed by-

"Well, well look what the cat dragged in, nice of you to join us."

Ichigo opened his mouth in order to explain himself but Shihoin Yoruichi cut him off with another blow of her whistle.

"I don't care to hear it Kurosaki, now get your ass in line!"

Ichigo jumped more so from the volume of the woman's voice rather than intimidation-although he was a bit intimidated too if he was going to be completely honest with himself.

Not that there really was a reason he should be since Coach Shihoin was one of his father's long time friends-the two had attended high school and 3 years of college together.

And when Ichigo was really young the woman had been his baby sitter for a short period of time.

Ichigo should view Yoruichi like an adopted aunt or a really annoying and bossy older sister. Or at least this is what goat face wished for. Not that the berry teen hadn't tried to please his father. But it was kind of difficult to be friends with a well respected coach who could also make a crack in a wall with just her feet.

Ichigo thought about it quite a few times-the fact that Yoruichi would be better suited for kick boxing rather than soccer but of course he wouldn't dare voice it out loud.

Grumbling under his breath and rolling his sweat pants up a couple of inches so they didn't hang over his shoes, Ichigo joined the rest of his classmates in line.

()

"Psst! Ichigo Psst!"

Someone was calling him. Ichigo didn't know who it was until he turned and looked down at his far left. The moment he saw who it was he wished he hadn't looked at all.

Luppi Antenor. A kid who wore sparkly barrettes in his hair, false lashes on his eyes and probably would have made a better girl then guy.

Not that there was anything wrong with this, after all who was Ichigo to judge when he'd gone around half the morning dressed in his mother's clothes?

No in truth it wasn't Luppi's fashion sense that Ichigo had a problem with, it was the other boys' personality.

In short Luppi was unpleasant, he never could say a single sentence with out some form of sarcasm coloring his girly tone.

It was decided. Ichigo decided that he would ignore the other boy.

"Psst! Ichigo!"

Or not!

"Yes what is it?" Ichigo hissed during the brief moment when Yoruichi's back was turned.

The other boy turned up his nose and stepped out of line, hands on his hips, tone accusatory "Just what did you think you were doing coming to school dressed in that skirt this morning?"

A brief pause

"Think you're real cute do you," a sneer, "Well I've got news for you Ichigo you'll _never_ be cuter than me." As if to empathize on the word "cute" Luppi stuck out his butt just then, not caring in the least that he knocked into the other students as he did so.

Several grumbles, protests, whines and a few death threats followed. Not that Luppi cared.

"Oops, sorry." He sing-songed insincerely and giggled behind his obnoxiously long lacy lined sleeve.

Ichigo didn't even know how to respond. When he put on his Kaa-san's skirt earlier that morning, he'd only been thinking of the promise he made to her. He wasn't trying to issue some sort of a challenge against an effeminate guy like Luppi.

A sharp whistle sounded.

"Oi, oi Kurosaki! Antenor! You two better get a hold on yourselves or I'll kick you out of class!"

Ichigo opened his mouth to apologize/explain but Luppi beat him to it, flashing a bright smile at Yoruichi, "Sorry Coach, promise it won't happen again."

Ichigo resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He'd bet anything that Luppi's fingers were crossed underneath his long sleeves.

Yoruichi's whistle sounded once more. "Alright now that everyone's accounted for let's get started. Today we're playing floor hockey so grab a stick and follow me!"

Ichigo wasn't an expert but he was pretty sure that floor hockey wasn't supposed to be played with so many people not that it really mattered though since he would do his best to avoid playing at all costs.

Especially since he was now apparently on Luppi's shit list.

As if sensing his uneasiness the smaller boy grinned nastily as he knocked into Ichigo's shoulder, "Don't try to out-cute me Ichigo or I promise you'll regret it."

Ichigo didn't think it was an empty threat, not by the crazed look in Luppi's too-sparkly-too-be-natural eyes.

Maybe he could pretend that he was sick?

()()

Too bad for Ichigo his plan had failed. Yoruichi hadn't bought his line for a minute.

"Unless you're bleeding from your skull or your intestines are spilling out on the gym floor I don't want to hear it, now get back in line or I'll give you a detention."

Ichigo willed himself not to jump or cower. He willed himself to keep calm as he tried a different approach, "Yoruichi-san, why are you treating me like this, you've been friends with my dad for years, heck you changed my diapers so can't you cut me a little bit of slack?"

Yoruichi's hard expression softened just a little bit and Ichigo felt that victory was right around the corner.

Sadly he was mistaken.

Yoruichi still refused to budge as she placed her mocha-toned hand on the boys' slim shoulder and looked down at him.

"Ichigo you know you're special to me kid but I can't play favorites when you're already a runt around here."

Ichigo opened his mouth to protest but coach didn't want to hear it.

Yoruichi shook her deep orchid colored locks and continued, "I'm doing this for your own good Ichigo you should thank me."

Ichigo scowled but knew that it was pointless. There was no way he'd change Yoruichi's mind. Not today anyway.

"Fine."

Yoruichi gave him a pat on the head "Atta boy now go play!"

()()

And so Ichigo played. Or at least he attempted to play. It would be more accurate to say that Ichigo spent the rest of the gym period trying to avoid Luppi and that damn hockey stick.

_Tried _being the key word.

"This will teach you to try and out-cute me in the future, Ichigo."

Bastard had gotten lucky a few times-managed to hit Ichigo repeatedly in his shin before the berry decided he'd had enough.

He didn't want to stoop to the other boys' level and hit back so instead he ran and dodged until the bell rang.

()()

Ichigo winced as he made his way into the cafeteria, quickly masking it over with a smile when he spotted his friends heading towards him.

()

Keigo was at the head of line, quickly followed by Rukia and Renji with Mizuiro taking up the rear. That must mean that Kiyone, Sentaro and Tatsuki were waiting at the table.

Ichigo scanned the crowd for one more person even though he knew it was pointless.

Because the person he was searching for was miles away-but old habits diehard and even after a year of his departure, Ichigo still wasn't used to the noticeable absence of his shaggy haired best friend Chado.

He knew it wasn't forever of course. Knew that Chado would return just as soon as his grandfather was well enough to work again. But still, thought Ichigo, was it really so difficult for the older teen to send a post card or an email or something once in awhile?

Ichigo knew his thoughts were a bit selfish but he couldn't help it. He missed Chado. Not that the berry teen didn't value all of his friends, for he did but Chado was particularly special.

He was the only person (aside from his mother) who never chided or belittled Ichigo in anyway.

"Oi Ichigo you just gonna stand there like a deer in the headlights or are you gonna order lunch?"

Rukia's snapping command pulled Ichigo from his thoughts.

"Sorry."

The petite raven-haired girl looked at Ichigo curiously for a moment and then shook her head. "No big deal, it happens to all of us." A shrug, "Anyway remind me when we get to the table I need to ask you something-well a couple of things actually."

Ichigo felt a bit wary now. He did not like the slight mischievous twinkle in Rukia's silver-blue eyes. He turned away from the girl, decided he was better off not thinking too far ahead and turned to Renji and Mizuiro, completely ignoring Keigo who was waving his arms wildly in the hopes of getting his attention.

"Renji, Mizuiro what's up guys? How'd your winter break go?"

Mizuiro looked up from his phone and answered, "Fine, fine winter break was fine. Best part about it was spending time with the ladies under the mistletoe."

Ichigo could never decide if he was jealous of how Mizuiro so easily and naturally charmed every girl with in a 3 mile radius or if he was disturbed by it. Probably a little bit of both.

Ichigo didn't know the first thing about sweet talking a girl under the mistletoe let alone several.

Not wishing to come off like a complete dork though, he made sure to high-five Mizuiro and when the other boy returned to his phone, Ichigo turned to Renji and repeated his question.

The redhead, it seemed, was determined to look anywhere but Ichigo's face.

Weird.

What was that about?

"Ichigooooo I know you can see me, I've been waving to you for the past 15 minutes, surely you can-

Yes Ichigo could see and hear Keigo but Ichigo had learned long ago that if he answered Keigo's desperate plea for attention every time, the other boy would never shut up.

So he continued to ignore the brunet while he waited for Renji's answer.

"Oi Renji what's up with you? Santa-sama leave coal in your stocking for Christmas again or what?"

The redhead snapped to attention and finally met Ichigo's face, his brow twitching ever so slightly, "Eh heh hey Ichigo, what's up man? You askin' me 'bout Christmas? It was good, I mean great I mean some parts were a little boring like sitting in front of the fire and listening to Rukia's grandfather drone on and on about 100 generations of Kuchiki nobles or whatever but yeah it was good and you?"

Honestly Ichigo didn't really feel like discussing the holiday because with out Kaa-san it hadn't felt like much of a holiday at all. Of course he couldn't tell his friends this. They wouldn't understand.

So instead Ichigo plastered another smile on his face.

"Oh you know just another Christmas like any other, goat face pulled out the sled, fired up some marshmallows, sang in really bad English, you know the usual."

Renji laughed. Laughed a little too hard. Ichigo raised a brow once again feeling there was something off with his friend.

Slim and dainty fingers (obviously a girls') snapped in front of Ichigo's face just then.

"Hello! Are you guys just going to stand around all day or are you going to come eat lunch with the rest of us?" In truth Rukia only seemed mildly miffed, probably because she had cheated and already eaten half of her cucumber salad.

Ichigo threw a piece of grilled fish and a slice of chocolate pie on to his plate and the followed the ravenette out to the table.

()()

"Okay Rukia so what was it you wanted to ask me?"

"Hmm what? Oh! Well two things actually," Rukia reached for her yogurt cup and lifted the lid as she continued, "The first question is why is the corner of your lip bleeding again and don't even bother to try and lie to me Ichigo because I can always tell."

It was true. Rukia could always tell. Ichigo wasn't sure how his friend did it only that she did.

"The split lip is from this morning during my mad dash to the bus stop I tripped."

It wasn't the first time. And it probably wouldn't be the last. Not that Ichigo was a klutz or anything it was more so the carelessness of his next-door neighbor.

"Uh huh and what about the way you were wincing when you entered the lunch room just a few minutes ago?"

At that exact moment not just Rukia but all of Ichigo's friends were pinning him with questioning stares. Keigo had noodles hanging from the corner of his mouth, Renji had a mouth ful of spinach and black olive pizza, Tatsuki was mid-nibble on her dango stick, Mizuiro's chopsticks were poised in midair and Kiyone and Sentaro had put a momentary pause on their daily meat-bun eating contest.

Ichigo was silently glad that he hadn't touched his food because he probably wouldn't have been able to keep it down at that moment.

"It happened in gym class. Luppi thought it would be funny to hit me repeatedly in the shin with his hockey stick," Ichigo shrugged. He didn't really feel like talking about it. "That's all."

"Thought it would be fun to hit you? Wait a minute! Are we talking about the same guy whose like a whole 2 and a half feet shorter than you?"

Ichigo nodded. It was embarrassing when he really thought about it. But no sense in denying it.

"Yeah, that's the one."

There was a moment of silence and then Tatsuki was the one to break it. "But why? What's he got against you? I mean I know you've had your run ins with some of the guys from class 3B in the past but I thought Antenor did his own thing."

"I'd really rather not talk about Tatsuki. Its done and over and I'm still in one piece."

"Well too bad because WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS." Rukia declared and everyone at the table nodded.

Ichigo sighed. "Fine what else do you guys want to know?"

"Um how about why? What have you ever done to him?"

Ichigo raised a forkful of fish up to his mouth "Guess he didn't care too much for my outfit this morning," took a bite and swallowed before shrugging once more, "Worried I'm trying to out-cute him or whatever."

Tatsuki shook her head. "I don't get you Ichigo. You come from a family of fighters, everyone is loud, brash or some variation or the two and yet here you are- she trailed off and shook her head once more, clearly disappointed in him. "Surely a twig like Luppi doesn't really intimidate you does he?"

Ichigo scowled. He may not be the bravest of souls but he wasn't a completely coward either. And he damn sure wasn't scared of a guy who insisted on wearing a diamond tiara to celebrate his birthday year after year.

Kiyone shook her short tapered locks and slapped the berry teen so hard he nearly flew right into his food tray "Nah our boy Ichigo ain't intimidated by nobody are ya Ichigo?"

Before Ichigo could utter a reply or a gripe or anything Sentaro chimed in with an "oh-so-helpful"

"Course not Ichigo's not scared of nothing 'cept for maybe Iba-san's panty-line."

Renji, Keigo and Mizuiro laughed while Tatsuki handed Ichigo a napkin and Rukia rolled her eyes.

"Anyway Ichigo speaking of your outfit this morning," another slap, this one on his shoulder and thankfully didn't send him flying into anything, "I'm proud of you! Takes some real balls to wear a skirt!"

"Uh, thanks Rukia."

The ravenette grinned and was about to say something else but Renji cut her off-

"Hey! Why is it okay for Ichigo to wear a skirt to school but when I told everyone that I wanted to grow my hair longer all I got were mocking jeers?"

Rukia patted the redhead as though he were her pet. "Because Renji if you grow your hair down to your back everyone is going to automatically assume that you're my older sister rather than my boyfriend and even though I have nothing against other lifestyle choices, grandfather and Byakuya-nii-sama would have both my head and yours."

Renji went pale for a few minutes. No doubt imagining the horror that would occur if he dishonored the Kuchiki's in any way.

But of course Ichigo had no way of knowing this for sure. He couldn't read Renji's mind it was merely a guess.

"Anyway back to the point of this discussion, you looked super cute in that skirt this morning and yet I noticed you're no longer wearing it, the question I want to know is _why_?"

Was it really necessary for Rukia to get so close? He could practically taste her lunch not that it was unpleasant per se but the last thing Ichigo needed was rumors to spread about how he and his ravenette friend were more than friends.

And with Renji right there….yeah Ichigo did not want to even complete his thought.

"Well you see-

Ichigo was interrupted with the arrival of the cheerleading squad.

()()

"Afternoon everyone."

Mixtures of "hello, hey, hi and sup" were returned as a way of greeting the princess (aka Inoue Orihime) and her entourage.

Ichigo couldn't quite put his finger on it but he always felt that there was something not quite right about a girl whose boobs seemed to enter the room before she did. He didn't care much for Inoue's million-dollar watt smile or her high-pitched girlish squeal of a voice.

Not that Inoue wasn't a nice girl for she was in fact one of the nicest, most gentle people the berry teen had ever met but-

"Afternoon Kurosaki-kun." She stopped right in front of him, sending a waft of her flowery scented perfume up his nose.

Ichigo smiled politely "Hey Inoue, how are you?"

The princess swept her long caramel colored locks to the side and knelt beside Ichigo's chair. "I'm well Kurosaki-kun and you?"

"Fine I mean good I guess."

Inoue nodded as if she really didn't care or if her mind was elsewhere-probably the later Ichigo figured.

"That's nice so anyway Kurosaki-kun um I was wondering if maybe you'd like to join me for open-mic night on Saturday if you're not too busy or anything I mean?"

Ichigo was momentarily distracted as Inoue curled a piece of her long hair around a perfectly manicured finger-even he could admit at the very least that Inoue was one of the prettiest girls in school.

Still…he wasn't sure he was really ready for a date-

"Um well Inoue I appreciate the offer and everything but mmmph!"

_**What the hell?**_ Ichigo's orange brows furrowed into a tight line as not just one but two sets of hands came across his mouth.

"Don't listen to him Inoue, Ichigo would love to join you for open mic-night on Saturday."

"That's right Orihime, Ichigo loves to sing!"

What the hell seriously?! Did Tatsuki and Rukia really have to make his life more complicated then it already was?

The princess looked mildly confused and her squad looked highly amused.

Ichigo tried in vain to remove Tatsuki and Rukia's hands from him mouth but wasn't having much success.

"Really?" Inoue's eyes lit up like twinkling stars in the sky and Ichigo ceased struggling. At least for the time being and did the only thing he could do, nod.

"Oh I'm so happy! This is going to be so much fun and-

Rukia grinned and nodded "Of course it will be a night to remember, kind of wish I was coming along."

Ichigo couldn't decide if he was grateful that his friend had decided to self-invite or not.

"Hey great idea Kuchiki! Let's all go I mean if you don't mind Orihime?"

That was Tatsuki, ever the thoughtful one. Well that and Ichigo was quite sure his tomboyish looking friend secretly harbored some sort of feelings for the princess.

Rather than looking annoyed or disappointed (either that or she masked it really well) Inoue's sparkly star like eyes brightened even more. "Of course it's okay! The more the merrier right?" She turned to her squad as if to get their approval and received several nods and grins and a chorus of

"Yep the more the merrier!"

Something told Ichigo open mic-night was going to be a bit of a nightmare.

"Yes I can finally show off my talents, after all these years I'll get to serenade all the lovely ladies in the crowd with my moonlight tenor."

"Hah! Get serious Asano the only ladies you'll serenade with your chicken squawks are little old bitties in their rockers."

Keigo looked highly insulted by Renji's comment and squawked "What? Why you!"

"_I _on the other hand will take the ladies to paradise when they hear my jungle beating baritone." Renji closed his eyes just then, stupid grin on his face as he fantasized about making a room full of women swoon over his quote "jungle beating baritone".

"Pfft! Yeah right the only one who'd willingly follow you to paradise is Kuchiki-san and that's only because she pities you."

Low blow. But Ichigo had to admit (if only to himself) Keigo was probably right.

Renji's reddish-browns flashed violently, he kicked over his chair and went straight for Keigo's collar "Why you lil' bastard I'll get y-urk! What the hell Mizu?"

"Asano-san. Abarai-san stop making a scene. Need I remind you two that we are in the presence of the fairer set?"

"Oi, oi Mizuiro who the hell do you think you're talking to?!"

"And what's with the Asano-san all of a sudden? We've been best friends since pre-k and -?"

Mizuiro was no longer listening to Keigo or Renji. He resumed eating his rice and text messaging on his phone.

Ichigo shook his head at his friends' antics and swallowed another bite of fish.

()()

"So Ichigo five minutes left until the bell so are you gonna tell me why you stopped wearing the skirt?"

"The answer is simple Rukia. Not everyone feels the same way as you. Most were disgusted with my look this morning. I spent a half hour in the principal's office and he told me I'm not allowed to wear skirt without joining the drama club first."

"Huh? Wait! Back up and start again I'm a little

"I said-

The bell shrilled next to Ichigo's ear effectively drowning him out.

"What was that? I didn't hear anything you said just now."

Ichigo shook his head and picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder "We'll talk later Rukia. I was already late to one class this morning and I can't let it happen again."

Rukia did not look happy as she chased after him and called out "Wait! But Ichigo we're not-

Ichigo wasn't the type to run off. He wasn't the type to be rude especially to one of his best friends but he honestly didn't feel like discussing the events from the morning any more and he really did need to high tail it to his next class.

He'd make it up to the ravenette later. Call her on the phone or skype or something. But right now Ichigo needed to focus on his classes.

Because Unlike gym class with Coach Shihoin which he tried to avoid at all costs Ichigo actually looked forward to English Literature with Ukitake Jushiro-sensei.

TBC


	4. 003 A LIL STORY 'BOUT U's

Disclaimer: Imagine knowing your having a baby the moment it happens…imagine knowing the out come of BLEACH. Imagine being Kubo-sensei!

THIS FANFIC IS WRITTEN FOR/INSPIRED BY:** CAS**

A/N Right so Ishida was supposed to make an appearance in this chapter but he decided he didn't want to share and so he'll make his debut in part 4. Anyway hope everyone enjoys!

WARNINGS: **UBER OOC-NESS, SWITCHING VIEWS, BERRY CHASERS/ADMIRERS SPELLING, GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION AND ALL THAT WAS PREVIOUSLY LISTED**

_Italics__flashbacks_ and _**italics ~ inner thoughts**_

**THANK YOU TO THOSE WONDERFUL 13 WHO FAVED THIS FIC! THANK YOU TO THE 12 WHO ARE FOLLOWING AND THANK YOU TO THE 4 WHO HAVE DROPPED REVIEWS!**

~SLY~

()()

()()

()()

**SKIRTING **_THROUGH_ **LIFE**

**003 **LIL STORY 'BOUT U

Ichigo looked forward to English Literature with Ukitake-sensei, not just because the language itself fascinated him but also because the man himself was so laid back and easy going.

Not that Ukitake didn't take his work seriously, for he did, but rather than making students like Ichigo feel pressured and overwhelmed, the man was patient.

Everything from his gentle timbering voice to his kind forest green-eyes, Ichigo always found it very easy to talk to Ukitake-sensei.

It was because of this reason (and perhaps a few more) that the berry teen practically tripped over the other students crowding the hallways in order to get to his English class.

Ichigo did this as often as possible all in the hopes that he would receive Ukitake's nod of approval. And not that the berry teen was one to brag or anything but he was pretty sure the man liked him just as much as he liked the man.

Why else would Ukitake keep the chipped coffee mug Ichigo had presented to him last year on his desk when it was clearly no longer usable and he had a collection of non-chipped mugs at his disposal?

Why else would Ukitake insist that Ichigo sit at the front the class? It was obvious to anyone with half of brain; of course Ukitake-sensei would want to look at him. Ichigo was the man's favorite student.

Of course none of this meant anything even if Rukia tried to tell Ichigo otherwise.

'_You have a crush on Ukitake-sensei Ichigo, just admit it!'_

'_No I don't! I just admire and respect the man. Stop being so weird Rukia!'_

'_Denial, denial, you are so in denial my brightly colored friend'_

Ichigo shook his head and snorted. Why the hell was he thinking of that memory right now of all times? Rukia didn't know what she was talking about.

And he did not have a crush! Ichigo was just a boy who had a deep sense of admiration for his teacher. It was perfectly natural to scribble the man's name over and over in his spiral notebook.

It was perfectly natural to draw hearts and cupid arrows around the U in Ukitake's name.

It didn't mean he had a crush. Besides Ukitake was like practically the same age as goat face. Hell the man had white hair already! Not that it detracted from his looks-not that Ichigo was looking or anything-

'_Denial, denial, denial' _Rukia's voice sing-songed inside his head.

The berry teen scowled. Damn her for putting such thoughts into his head! Heck Ichigo wouldn't be surprised if the next words that came out of the ravenette's mouth were

'_**You're gay, ha ha I always knew there was a reason you acted like a girl'**_or something equally insulting.

Not that Ichigo had anything against gay guys but he wasn't one of them! He didn't braid his hair or paint his nails or check out his reflection in the mirror every 5 minutes.

He didn't steal his older sister's underwear-well actually he didn't have an older sister-actually he didn't have any sisters but that wasn't the point!

Point here was Ichigo did not have a crush on Ukitake-sensei. He simply admired the man and enjoyed the subject. That was all.

'_**D-E-N-I-A-L'**_

()()

Save the one hooded figure sleeping in the last row in the back of the room, Ichigo was surprised to find that he'd been worried for nothing.

Apparently he wasn't the only one running late today. His fellow classmates and Ukitake-sensei were nowhere in sight.

A bit strange but the berry teen decided not to dwell on it. Everyone would be along soon enough and so he could use this time to review his answers to the take home quiz Ukitake had assigned over the holiday season.

Not that Ichigo wasn't pretty confident in his answers but it never hurt to double check-correct any errors.

Mind make up Ichigo sat down in his assigned seat and pulled his papers and a pen out of his bag.

()()

There was slight movement coming from out of the corner of his eye, pulling Ichigo's attention away from his current task.

The hooded figure had woken up from his/her nap and was now making their way towards the front. Making their way towards Ichigo.

A bout of nervousness crept over the orange-haired teen.

Ichigo jumped out of his seat, dropped his red pen and turned to face the hooded figure, determined not to scream and flee like a little girl.

After all they were in a classroom. A brightly lit classroom on the 2nd floor not down in the basement or something. If the hooded figure tried to mess with him, Ichigo would do his best to stand his ground until Ukitake-sensei showed. It wouldn't be long now surely-

"Kurosaki Ichigo, ka?"

Despite his inward pep talk Ichigo couldn't help nearly jumping out of his own skin as the hooded figure not only addressed him by his full name but also placed a pale hand on his shoulder.

"Gah! Ha ha uh um ah who's asking?"

The hooded figure decided to humor the teen and answered, "Ulquiorra Shiffer but you can call me Quiorra or Orra. I've been watching you for awhile."

During this semi-more-like-uber-creepy introduction Ulquiorra lowered his hood and Ichigo felt some color return to his face and breathed a little easier when he took in the other boys' appearance.

Pale bone white colored skin, just a micro-shade darker than that of the hall monitor Shiro, bottle green eyes heavily lined with black mascara and a down turned mouth.

Overall this Ulquiorra guy reminded Ichigo of a sad clown or a china doll found inside an antique toy store.

Thin and willowy like a tree, Ulquiorra looked like he could be easily knocked over if Ichigo so much as breathed too hard.

"Uh," Ichigo wasn't really wasn't sure what to say outside of, "I've never noticed you until today."

Ulquiorra's down turned mouth twitched the slightest bit as though he found Ichigo's comment amusing and then he added, "You have not noticed me until just now because I have chosen to go unnoticed until just now."

Right. Yeah so on top of his semi-creep-tacular physical appearance, Ulquiorra had a funny way of speaking too. Well not ha-ha funny but-

"Wait! What do you mean you've been watching me?"

Did this mean he had a stalker? Creepy to the max. Ichigo wasn't sure how he felt about being watched by another person let alone another guy like Ulquiorra.

Hell had the kid even blinked during the past 3 minutes?

()()

Ulquiorra Shiffer honestly didn't know what had come over him. He couldn't understand why on today of all days the sudden urge to approach the loudest boy in school had come over him. He usually went out of his way to avoid other students at al costs.

He was not so much a loner as he was an observer.

Ulquiorra liked to watch. He felt by doing so he would gain a better understanding of the trouble and tiresome species known as teenagers. Never mind that Ulquiorra himself was a teenager.

However Ulquiorra did not consider himself a true teenager since he was in fact a great deal smarter and more mature than the average teen. Born in the wrong era, in the wrong body, Ulquiorra considered himself to be more alien than human.

Of course his mother thought it was nonsense but what did she know?

And anyway aliens were interesting where as humans were boring. Sure it sounded ridiculous but Ulquiorra didn't care and he wasn't going to change.

"Oi, I asked you a question, what do you mean you've been watching me?"

Or make that Ulquiorra wasn't going to change much. Just a little bit. Enough so he could form some type of bond with the loud boy known as Kurosaki Ichigo.

It wouldn't be easy. Ulquiorra knew it would not but the moment he'd gotten up from out of his seat and walked over to the other teen, he knew there would be no turning back.

He was determined to befriend the other boy.

"Never mind that just tell me where can I acquire a skirt like the one you were wearing earlier this morning?"

()()

Ichigo sputtered and turned a fine shade of red. "The hell?!"

He watched Ulquiorra's down turned mouth twitch once again and was almost positive the other teen was laughing at him now.

Ichigo scowled and backed up a good couple of feet. Ulquiorra interpreted it as some sort of unspoken challenge and took a few steps forward, bottle greens blinking almost owlishly as he did so.

Shit. Just when Ichigo thought his hooded classmate couldn't become any freakier, he did. And so the berry teen had no other choice but to back away a few more feet. Ulquiorra followed apparently thinking it was some sort of game.

"I'll keep following you until I get an answer Kurosaki Ichigo."

The hell? Ichigo nearly tripped over his damn book bag in his attempt to distance himself from Ulquiorra. His voice came out rather shaky and embarrassingly squeaky, as he demanded the other to just, "Stop! What are you-? Just get back! Stay back I mean uh look Ulquiorra if you want to be friends or something you need to knock off this creepy act."

Almost instantly Ulquiorra stopped.

Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief and mentally patted himself on the back for showing a good amount of courage. If Tatsuki could see him now she'd surely-

"I'm only asking about the skirt because-

"Yes you want one well listen sorry to break it to you Ulquiorra but-

"Yes?"

"The skirt I was wearing, as far as I know it's a one of a kind, and it belongs to my Kaa-san."

"Your Kaa-san?"

"Yeah."

"I see."

"Yeah so-

"Your mother encourages you to cross-dress?"

Cross-dress? Ichigo scowled. He didn't consider what he was doing cross-dressing. Cross-dressers were strange perverted college dropouts with no future who hung around shady parts of town offering sexual favors to old men.

"No! I'm nothing like that I've never even had sex!"

Ulquiorra titled his head to the side and blinked owlishly a second time. "Beg your pardon? I don't recall asking whether or not you've had sex Kurosaki Ichigo. In fact I'm not even going to ask how you jumped to that conclusion."

Orange brows furrowed with confusion and Ichigo huffed angrily.

"Well that's not how it sounded and anyway gah forget it! Look like I said before if you're looking for a skirt I don't know what to tell you but if you're looking for a friend," Ichigo held out his hand giving Ulquiorra the chance to take it.

"_Friend?"_ Ulquiorra tested the word out on his tongue before grasping Ichigo's hand and squeezing it hard and declared, "We are friends now Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo bit back a wince and inwardly marveled over the strength in the other boys' hand.

The saying 'appearances can be deceiving' certainly rang true with Ulquiorra.

Ichigo decided then and there that he'd made the right choice. Befriending a guy like Ulquiorra would only benefit him in the long run.

"Eh uh um Ulquiorra you can let go now I mean my fingers are kind of going numb and-

Ulquiorra seemed to realize his mistake a moment later, black bangs falling into his green eyes he quietly apologized, "I'm sorry to have hurt you just now, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Geez Ulquiorra was too high strung. After a moment or two of awkward silence Ichigo decided he'd had enough and slapped the pale teen on the shoulder. If Tatsuki could see him now she'd be grinning from ear to ear of this the berry teen was certain.

"Lighten up Ulquiorra no harm done, just uh I wasn't expecting you to have such a killer grip." A small laugh, "Remind me never to get on your bad side."

This time it was Ulquiorra's turn to look confused. "Bad side? I am no angel by any stretch but let me assure you that I do not have a bad side Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Uh," Ichigo blinked once, twice, three times and scratched his head. "Right yeah, noted so anyway about the skirt, tell me honestly did I look good in it?"

It hadn't been the question Ichigo originally intended to ask but during his bizarre conversation with the other teen an idea of sorts came to him.

"Honestly your ass is too bony and your waist is too thin to properly fill out a skirt like that. You'd look better in a tank top and fitted skinny jeans or a dress."

"A dress huh? But uh I mean isn't that wouldn't it be a bit I don't know too revealing or something. Plus I'm a guy and-

"There are many options available to you Kurosaki Ichigo. Even if you insist on keeping it simple and modest, you don't have to be a prude."

"Prude?"

Ichigo had been called many things but never a prude.

"Don't take it the wrong way Kurosaki Ichigo. You're only 14 and you've got a lot of growing up to do but trust me when I say I know what I'm talking about."

Er um what?

"Listen Ulquiorra I appreciate you being honest with me and everything but-

"We'll start tomorrow after school. I'll blow off my music recital and take you out."

"Out? Out to where?"

Ichigo felt anxiety creep up on him once more, felt his face flush. He didn't want to accuse Ulquiorra of anything nor did he wish to offend the other teen but it almost sounded like the other boy was asking him out-well not asking more like telling him that he was taking him out whether he liked it or not.

Ichigo didn't think he was ready for such a step. Hell he still had Saturday night with the princess to think about and freak out over.

"Uh Ulquiorra before we go any further I think now would be a good time to tell you that I'm not um you know into guys like that. I mean sure I joke around sometimes and slap my friends on their butts with beach towels and stuff but that's just horsing around and you know guys being guys and Ul-Ulquiorra wh-why are you looking at me like that?!"

Honestly Ichigo couldn't pin Ulquiorra's current expression if his life depended on it-all he knew was the look on the other boys' face was only adding to his uneasy feeling.

"I've seen the note book Kurosaki Ichigo. I know you wish to wed Ukitake-sensei one day and that's fine, as your friend I will not stand in your way," green eyes flashed and Ulquiorra's lips twitched and twitched and twitched until finally forming a smile, "Instead I'll help you get there."

()()

Ichigo was careful not to make too much noise as he tiptoed down the stairs and headed towards the drama hall later that same afternoon.

The last thing the berry teen wanted was to be caught wearing the skirt before he entered what he was loosely terming "would-be-sanctuary".

Principal Bach/Zan had already given him a pass once and he didn't think the man would do so a second time.

Of course Ichigo wouldn't even have to worry about such a thing if he'd gone against his newly made friends' request/demand. Putting his mother's skirt back on had been Ulquiorra's idea.

'_Don't you think the members of the drama club will take you a bit more seriously if you wear you mother's skirt?'_

'_What do you mean? Why do you think that?'_

'_Isn't it obvious? Only an actor can understand a fellow actor. Only an actor can embrace another actor wholly. Plus its perfectly natural for boys in the drama club to dress up like girls. You'll fit right in Kurosaki Ichigo.'_

'_Uh I guess but uh hey Ulquiorra while we're at it can you please stop addressing me by my full name?'_

_Green eyes bored into brown 'What would you have me call you then?'_

'_Ichigo, just Ichigo everyone else does.'_

_Ulquiorra's down turned mouth twitched just the slightest bit as he informed the berry teen, 'But I am not like everyone else, Kurosaki Ichigo."_

_Ichigo sweat dropped, sighed and then decided to let it drop. Can't change a tiger's stripes or a leopard's spots._

'_Fine but you're gonna have to help me into my skirt because unlike this morning I don't have a mirror to look into.'_

'_By helping you into your skirt would require me to look at your underwear, would it not?'_

_A pause. An awkward pause._

'_Uh on second thought I'll just-_

'_Nonsense,' green eyes flashed, 'I'd be delighted.'_

Ichigo shook his head banning the recent memory. Ulquiorra was seriously the strangest guy he'd ever encountered. What the hell had he been thinking by befriending someone so damn

"OUCH!"

Fuck! Walking into a solid wooden door was so not cool. Ichigo rubbed his forehead hoping it wouldn't bruise, adjusted his skirt as best he could with out a mirror and opened the door.

()()

What you're doing is wrong, can't you see that?"

"No what we're doing is necessary to keep mankind alive unless of course you have a better suggestion Keri-dee?"

"It just so happens that I do."

"Oh really? I'm all ears go ahead."

"Fine I will, somebody hit the lights!"

No sooner had an upbeat tempo started then the director shouted "**CUT!"**

"What? What was wrong with that take?"

When Ichigo stepped inside the room he wasn't sure what he had been expecting but he hadn't imagined anything quite like this.

The room was about half the size of a grand auditorium, the walls painted a deep plum color, the floors black and white checkered tiles, freshly polished and rather than benches or stiff metal chairs the actors were lounging about on velvet plush couches and LA-Z boys.

Well all but the one girl with big doe eyes, rosy cheeks and an upturned nose that was currently up on the stage.

Having enough common sense not to interrupt Ichigo sat down on one corner of one of the many couches and was careful not to wake the guy who had apparently fallen asleep on top of his copy of the script.

Ichigo didn't know much about the play other than the main character was Keri-dee and she was a sole vegetarian protesting against the meat factory world she was forced to live in.

At the moment "Keri-dee" was having what appeared to be a heated argument with the director.

"Hinamori if you're not going to take this seriously then perhaps you should find a different way to spend your afternoons?"

"Wait! Wait you don't really mean that Shiro-chan Director-sama, I can do better believe me I'll do better!"

"Fine let's try it again and this time you either get it right or I'll select some one else to play the role of Keri-dee."

"Oh you don't mean that. You can't mean that. Take it back Shiro-chan. Take it back now!"

Hinamori stomped her feet like a child and Toshiro swept his hands through his snow-colored locks and released a tiered sigh, "Fine! Fine cue the music!"

The same up beat tempo started again and this time Hinamori burst into song.

_**I looked into the mirror**_

_**And did not recognize the face**_

_**(the face) staring back at me**_

_**My face (my face) is sickeningly pale**_

_**My skin dry and peeling (peeling)**_

_**I clutched my throat**_

_**Wanting to scream in horror**_

Ichigo sat and waited for someone/anyone to acknowledge his presence but the actors were too absorbed in their cell phones, I-pods or each other to notice him.

Which would be fine except it kind of wasn't because all Ichigo wanted to do was get this over and done with. It had been a long day and he was tiered.

_**What have I become?**_

_**In this age of meaty buns **_

_**And milk shakes?**_

_**What have I-**_

"**CUUUUUUUUUT!** Hinamori I've had enough of this just step off the stage and let some one else-

"NOOOOOOOOO! You can't do this to me I'm Keri-dee _your _Keri-dee pleeeeeeeease Shiro-chan give me another chance?"

The director looked like he might rip his snowy locks right out of his skull if he had to listen to another minute of Hinamori's whining. Ichigo couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy.

"Whatever. Fine. And it's Toshiro. To-shi-ro do I make myself clear?"

Hinamori batted her lashes and shook her head "Nah uh you'll always be Shiro-chan to me."

"Enough! Let's run through it one more time and if you don't get it right we'll take a break, okay?"

"Yes!" Hinamori pumped her fist into the air and beamed brightly at Toshiro "I'll be perfect this time just watch and see!"

The chibi director rubbed the sides of his temple and barked

"ACTION!"

_**What have I become?**_

_**In this age of meaty buns **_

_**And milk shakes?**_

_**What have I-**_

When the music started again Ichigo attempted to drown out Hinamori's awful banshee like screeching (that she was trying to pass off for singing) and studied her costume.

She was wearing a ruffled blouse, which was clearly 3 sizes too big for her small body, a puffy white skirt that looked more like a garbage bag and metallic colored ballet flats. Ichigo was no expert but he couldn't help but think that Hinamori looked like an overgrown glittery marshmallow dancing around on the moon.

He silent prayed that whatever costume the drama club planned for him to wear, it wouldn't be as ugly as the one girl on stage had been forced into.

()

Unbeknownst to Ichigo at that exact same moment 3 pairs of eyes were watching him from the backstage curtains.

TBC


	5. BOY AND BRO

**Disclaimer: Why do birds suddenly appear every time BLEACH is near, just like me they long to be KUBO-SENSEI!**

**A/N And this is where SWITCHING VIEW POINTS **_**really**_** comes into play. Also this is where it helps to be familiar with SLY's stories…she's known for flashbacks…she has done her best to make it as un confusing as possible…So Ishida was supposed to appear in this chapter…but by doing so he would have had to share the spot light and he didn't want that…so he'll appear in chapter 005 'TRIPLE THREAD' which I promise will be coming a lot sooner than this chapter did…anyway right then that being said let's get on with it shall we?**

DEDICATED TO/INSPIRED BY: **CASTIEL4LIFE**

THANK YOU TO ALL READERS 1000

REVIEWERS 6

FOLLOWERS 20

**SLY LOVES YOU ALL FOR EMBRACING THE RANDOMNESS THAT IS SHE!**

()()

**SKIRTING **THROUGH** LIFE**

004 "**BOY" AND "BRO"**

_**LAST TIME….**_

Unbeknownst to Ichigo at that exact same moment 3 pairs of eyes were watching him from the backstage curtains.

3 pairs of eyes belong to a trio of best- friends.

This trio specialized in stage production, mainly painting and building the back round scenery. And this trio normally did not bother with the actors because they didn't care much for their personalities.

The trio felt that the "official" members of the drama club were too damn materialistic and self absorbed well…all with the exception of the goateed teen but then again he slept most of the time so the trio hadn't really gotten a good enough read on the guy.

The trio preferred to keep to them selves, keep to the shadows unless of course it was necessary to attend class. Or a beautiful being came along…

**OKAY NOW REWIND BEFORE ICHIGO ENTERED THE DRAMA ROOM**

_But on this particular day the shortest member of the trio and also the only girl in their small group decided that taking a break was in order. After all they'd been at it for almost 2 hours straight and hadn't eaten anything since noon on top of which…_

"_The hell? If I have to listen another minute of that skinny bitches caterwauling I'm gonna grab that prop gun over there and load it with some real bullets."_

"_Be sure to save at least one bullet for the director."_

"_Violence is not the answer Ririn-chan. While I do agree with you that Momo-chan doesn't exactly have the greatest singing voice it is probably not her fault. And Noba don't encourage her."_

"_Hmm."_

"_What are you trying to say Baka-Cloud! You startin' to like that munchkin bitch?"_

"_I never said that I merely said-_

"_Guys this is ridiculous! Let's not waste our time fighting-if we don't hurry up all the sweet bread will be gone."_

"_No way!/Baka-Noba! Why didn't you say something sooner?"_

_The trio gathered up their belongings fully intending to head for the nearest exist when the sound of footsteps reached their ears._

_Rinrin, Cloud and Noba instantly froze up fearing the worst. It happened quite often that Principal Bach would make one of his "unexpected drop-ins" to check and see how the latest production was coming along, drilling the young actors/actresses with a series of different questions._

_And once Bcah received answers that he deemed satisfactory enough he would set off towards the back stage and have words with the trio._

_If Bach felt Cloud, Noba or Ririn were slacking off in anyway or found their answers to his questions lacking in some way the man would not hesitate to issue each of them a detention in addition to demanding that they stay an extra hour long after everyone else went home._

_The trio didn't really know why Bach disliked them so much-they'd never done anything to warrant the man's anger or disgust. _

_Perhaps Bach simply did not care much for antisocial types. _

_Or maybe the man didn't care for their style of dress. Whatever his reason, Ririn, Cloud and Noba went out of their way to avoid Bach at all costs._

_()_

_FAST FORWARD…NOT TO FORWARD…BUT FORWARD_

_**The door opened and Ririn peeked her yellow butter-cream colored head out from behind the curtain and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that it was not Bach who had entered the room but another student.**_

"_**What's happening Rinrin-chan, is it Bach?"**_

_**Ririn did not answer Cloud's question right away for she found it was difficult to properly formulate a sentence just then. **_

_**Ririn never thought it was possible for a boy to be beautiful outside of fiction. Those kinds of things just didn't exist in reality. And yet, there he was all bright orange spiky locks and clueless expression. **_

_**Ririn didn't really know why he was bothering with a skirt when he already stood out among the rest, shining like a bright beacon of light. **_

_**It was a subconscious thing, Ririn noticed a moment later and this simple conclusion made the blonde girl like the boy in the skirt that much more.**_

"_**Ririn is it Bach?"**_

_**It wasn't until Noba repeated Cloud's previous question that the blue-eyed blonde finally snapped out of her daze.**_

"_**Somebody pinch me."**_

_**There was a moment of silence and during this moment Cloud and Noba exchange baffled looks.**_

"_**Pinch you? We do not understand what you are talking about Rinrin."**_

"_**Just answer the question, you silly girl! Is it Bach or not!"**_

_**Not wishing to pull her eyes away from the beautiful boy Ririn motioned Cloud and Noba to come closer.**_

_**Still confused (and perhaps a little disturbed?) by Ririn's unusual behavior, Cloud and Noba were almost hesitant in their approach.**_

"_**What is it Ririn?" Noba stage whispered.**_

_**Ririn did not answer, her mind was quickly spinning tales as to why the boy in a skirt had decided to enter the drama hall on today of all days. She doubted very highly that his reasons were something as painfully dull as pure boredom. No…no there had to be a greater, far more exciting reason.**_

"_**Ririn-chan!"**_

"_**Shhh!" Ririn hissed. She was growing quite tiered of Cloud and Noba bothering her during her moment of deep thinking. "Stop talking and just look and see for yourselves!"**_

"_**Look? What exactly are we looking f-Ohhhhh!" Cloud and Noba gasped in unison once they followed their leaders direction/demand and peeked their heads though the curtains.**_

_**Immediately the two boys understood what had warranted Ririn's excitement.**_

_**Cloud was particularly vocal in his appreciation of the orange-headed boy. "Now I see what all that commotion was about tut, tut," he chided the girl before continuing "You really should have said something sooner Ririn-chan."**_

_**He glanced over at Noba and noticed that the shorter boy was attempting to pull his multi-colored striped beanie hat down over his face, his white cheekbones flushing brightly matching his ruby red colored hair perfectly.**_

_**Cloud grinned and wrapped his arms around his two companions, an idea quickly forming in his mind. "Ririn-chan, Noba what are we waiting for let's go introduce ourselves, yes?"**_

_**Ririn shrugged off the hand and distanced herself a bit away from the boy with two-toned colored hair. "Don't be thick Cloud, we can't just go out there."**_

"_**That's right. The actors are still performing and you know that damn director doesn't like interruptions." Noba added.**_

"_**Oh come on! Since when do we care what some hot-tempered snow-haired chibi director thinks? I wanna know who the carrot top is and I'm not going to wait!" With this declaration Cloud made a motion to pull back the curtain further and flee the stage only to have Ririn and Noba pull him back.**_

_**Despite being a great deal taller than his friends, Noba and Ririn were strong and so it didn't take much to restrain Cloud.**_

"_**No! We will introduce ourselves soon enough but for now we'll just stay back here and observe." Ririn decided.**_

"_**Yes I think that would be best." Noba agreed.**_

_**Cloud considered arguing with the duo but decided against it. 2 against 1 pretty much spoke for itself. "Fine since we're apparently not going anywhere any time soon, does anyone want a rasinette?"**_

_**Ririn held out her hand. **_

_**Noba shook his head before turning his full attention back to the boy in a skirt. He was flipping through a copy of the script now, a slight frown on his face as he turned the pages- his right leg shaking it was a sign of nervousness or agitation maybe? Whatever the reason Noba's heart went out to the other boy just then, suddenly getting the feeling that said "boy" didn't really want to be here.**_

'_**If only I were out there instead of back here.'**_

_**No sooner had the thought crossed Noba's mind then the Coyote sleeping just a little bit away from the orange-haired boy had opened one of his smoke gray colored eyes, a lazy grin pulling at his lips as he took note of his company.**_

_**Noba felt an unnatural feeling come over him as he watched on. **_

_**Clenching his fingerless gloved fists and feeling his face heat up even more (this time anger mixing in with the lust) as the slick Coyote danced one of his long wiry-muscled arms towards the very same leg that had been shaking uncontrollably.**_

_**The orange-head probably didn't even know what was coming his way. Noba was not amused. Once again he felt an unnatural urge/desire to go out there-to save the other boy.**_

_**But he could not. It was not his place to interfere.**_

"_**Huh, so that's why they call him Coyote."**_

_**Noba jumped. He had completely forgotten that Ririn and Cloud were still with him. **_

"_**Shut up! It's not funny he's about to soil OUR boy." Ririn sounded clearly upset no horrified!**_

"_**OUR boy?" Noba blinked.**_

"_**What are you talking about Ririn-chan? Such a thing is not possible."**_

_**Ririn rolled her eyes. "The three of us do everything together. We have the same tastes and so when I say he's OUR boy then he's OUR boy." Her eyes burned with fire "I should've known the Coyote was just like the rest of them, nothing more than a greedy selfish shameless pervert."**_

"_**Now, now Ririn-chan such language is inappropriate for a young lady. Perhaps the Coyote is just planning to give the carrot top a friendly greeting?" And yet as if to mock Cloud or further confirm Ririn's accusation, the Coyote's hand was slowly creeping higher and higher-another minute more and he'd be under the carrot top's skirt-**_

"_**That Bastard!/ Noooo!/ Enough!"**_

_**Although the trio had issued out three different exclamations just then, their hearts and minds were in sync. It was decided. **_

_**They would save their boy!**_

_**()()**_

_**FAST FORWARD…OKAY REWIND JUST A LIL' BIT AND RESUME**_

Still no one was paying any attention to him, Ichigo decided to do something to pass the time since he was so bored out of his mind.

Slowly, carefully and with timed precision he extracted the copy of the script out from under the sleeping man.

Yes Ichigo had taken note of the light goatee and fine hair on the man's knuckles to conclude that this guy must be one of the older students.

Perhaps he was one of those types who failed his final year 3 times in a row and was actually like 22 years old or something?

Not that it mattered or had anything to do with Ichigo, he was just momentarily borrowing the man's script so if the director decided to randomly call on him he'd be at least some what prepared. But it was difficult to focus when Hinamori's voice grew louder and louder with each passing moment…

**And you ask me**

**Why I've come here today**

**I give you the answer (my answer)**

**Tell you the world shouldn't**

**Be this way**

**Sugar, Salt is all around us**

**In our bloodstream (bloodstream)**

**And yet you still ask me why**

**I make such a fuss?**

**Well I'll tell you Mr. Cooperate man**

**Tell it to you straight**

**The end is upon us**

**Trust me **

**Just you wait**

**And as I take my final breath**

**My skin bubbling like up like**

**Month old dairy**

**I'll fight no longer**

**And embrace my death **

**With open arms**

Ichigo shook his head. More and more he was convinced that he just wasn't cut out for this "acting" scene. Perhaps he could convince goat face to gather the members of the school board and sign a petition so he could wear a skirt if he felt like it?

Not that Ichigo was all that sure that his father would support his decision when Isshin had barely said a word to him when they sat down to breakfast earlier that same morning.

Ichigo sighed and flipped through the next few pages in the script, his brown eyes drawn to the lines highlighted in yellow.

'_It's all in your mind, the irrational fears, the dreams-no one is wasting away Keri-dee, please stop this you're starting to scare me.'_

'_It is my right as your brother. I must stand by your side if only for a few minutes.'_

'_It is not a matter of believing or not believing at this point-you've declared war upon the cooperate run factories!'_

Ichigo raised a brow. This was by far one of the strangest play-scripts he had ever skimmed through-not to mention the plot itself didn't make a great deal of sense.

'_**I'm really not cut out for this.'**_

Ichigo released another sigh and looked up when at last the music had stopped. Good it seemed Hinamori was finished so maybe now the director would pay attention to-

"Gah!"

Ichigo screamed and bolted right up off the plush couch when he felt something brush his stocking clad thigh. It took him a moment to recognize that "something" as a human hand-a masculine hand and then he screamed a second time and punched the owner of said offensive hand right in the man's goateed face with the kind of power that his father and uncle Kai always claimed he had in his blood but Ichigo had never believed or thought he was capable of up until now.

'_**How did I?'**_

"You pack quite a punch for such a small guy, had I known you'd react that way I wouldn't have touched you,"-

The pervert's tone was a lazy sort of drawl, sounding as if he had just woken up from a nap (which he had).

Ichigo flushed brightly both at the insult and the reminder of what had just occurred and then shot the older student a vicious glare but it seemed that the man was not finished as his butter cream lips curled up just the slightest and he added

"-Not that I regret it."

()()

Cloud, Ririn and Noba quickly found that there interference was unnecessary-the trio had literally been just mere seconds away from dog-piling the Coyote (no pun intended) so that their BOY could get away but the orange-haired beauty had shocked all of them when he whirled back his fist and punched the Coyote straight in the nose.

So it was decided at that moment that Cloud, Ririn and Noba would introduce themselves to the cutie in a skirt at a later date.

Down on all fours the trio of friends crawled to the exit doors, only looking back long enough to release wistful sighs before they officially took their leave.

()()

Ichigo's eyes widened to a comical degree and he felt his cheeks burn even more. He couldn't decide what angered him more at that moment, himself or the goateed pervert? It was about even.

Pulling his skirt down and smoothing out the wrinkles Ichigo shot the Coyote another glare and then stormed away.

This time deciding to sit beside one of the girls, mentally cursing himself for not realizing it was the smartest choice he could have made since chicks weren't known for being perverted (well except Rukia but his petite raven haired friend had always been a bit of an oddball.)

Ichigo shook his head, crossed his hands over his chest and scowled at nothing in particular.

()()

Coyote Starrk rubbed his cheek and fell back further on to the plush cushioning and smiled to himself.

Here he had been thinking of quitting drama this year-this was supposed to be his last day and then all of a sudden a lovely little orange fire flower comes along and-

Starrk closed his eyes and released a dreamy sigh. He had no idea who the guy was but he would be damned if he didn't find out.

Reaching into the pocket of his silk lined suit, Starrk pulled out a phone and dialed a number.

()()

"You there! Boy in the navy skirt get up here now!"

Ichigo's scowl only deepened when the director took notice of him and rather than offering some type of apology or explanation, the chibi-like looking guy snaps out commands at him like a drill sergeant.

Just for that for that Ichigo decided he was going to be a bit stubborn. Yes perhaps it wasn't the smartest choice at the moment or so Ichigo found out less than a split second later when Toshiro stormed off the stage and came right for the berry like an angry blizzard.

Ichigo winced as the snow-haired director stopped right in front of him and grabbed a fistful of his orange locks forcing him to his feet.

The tone in Toshiro's voice was colder than the frost on the window. "Listen, when I tell you to do something, you do it!"

Not allowing the berry teen a chance to offer an explanation or a protest, the director tightened the grip on Ichigo's hair and marched him up to the front steps of the stage.

Ichigo did his best not to cry out at the unfair mistreatment the snow-haired director was inflicting on him while he waited for further instruction.

Toshiro, already in a foul mood barked out another command. "You have a slip to be here, let's see it!"

Ichigo's fingers fumbled inside the pocket of his mother's jacket for a few minutes before he produced the small slip of paper Principal Bach-Zan handed to him earlier that day.

Toshiro's icicle blues swept over the small paragraph written on the colorful slip of paper and then flickered back over to Ichigo.

Ichigo gulped, suddenly feeling more unsure of him self than ever before. "Uh I don't know anything about acting but I'm a fast learner and a decent enough dancer I-I think."

Icicle blues narrowed and then Toshiro snorted. "Whatever. Just stop talking and show us what you can do."

"You um want me to dance?"

"I want you to stop wasting my time. Recite lines. Dance. Sing. Whatever just do something before I really lose my patience."

"Um?"

Even though Ichigo had skimmed through the script once or twice while he was waiting for the director he hadn't memorized any of the song lyrics and even though he said he could dance decently enough it had been awhile and…

The thin vein between Toshiro's brows twitched, "What? I can't understand what you're saying if you mumble. Hurry up and spit it out! We'd like to get home before sundown."

"I haven't um I haven't memorized any of the-

Icicle blues rolled and Toshiro looked at the berry teen like he was single biggest idiot who had ever stepped into the drama hall.

"Um Shiro-chan?" Hinamori piped in just then, "Who is this boy and why is he wearing a skirt?"

Toshiro turned to his adopted sister and spoke to the brunette very slowly as if she were nothing more than a small child.

"Hinamori I do not have time for your pointless questions. We are already weeks behind schedule because Matsumoto decided to go on a sporadic maternity leave, the useless woman, and now I have to work extra hard to ensure that all of you will be ready for opening night 2 weeks from today."

Two weeks? It was at this moment in time that Ichigo wished the stage floor would open up and swallow him whole. There was no way he could learn an entire musical in just 2 weeks. His face turned unnaturally pale as he imagined being on stage in front of hundreds of people.

"But Shiro-chan," Hinamori continued, "That still doesn't answer my question about who he is?"

As if on cue at that exact same moment not just Hinamori and Toshiro but the entire room turned to stare at Ichigo.

The berry teen's momentary meltdown was forgotten for the moment as irritation crept back in.

'_Oh now everyone notices I'm here.'_

"This is," Tosihiro snapped his fingers, "Boy what's your name?"

"Ichigo."

Ichigo's honest reply received several brow raises and a few snickers.

"We're having a strawberry-short cake join the play at the last the last minute? What exactly is he supposed to do, put Keri-dee into a sugar coma?"

The lame joke had come from a tall wafer thin blond boy wearing a silver shaped bull pendant around his neck. Ichigo didn't recognize the kid but he mentally concluded that it would be best to steer clear of him.

Toshiro continued on as though he had never been interrupted in the first place, "No Ichigo is here to try out for the role of Keri-dee."

"WHAAAAAT?!" Hinamori screamed and stomped and carried on like a child, "You can't be serious? Shiro-chaaaaan I thought we already decided that I'm your Keri-dee."

Toshiro's tone dropped to another chilling degree, "Hinamori I won't have any more of your unnecessary outbursts!"

Hinamori's bottom lip quivered and tears sprung in the corner of her doe brown eyes. "But Shiro-chaaaan I-I-

"Enough! I never said Ichigo would replace you," a snort, "At best he'll be your understudy in case something comes up and you can not perform."

Understudy? Hmm well considering how little experience he had, it made sense to Ichigo still…

"Um excuse me but even as an understudy I'll still be allowed to wear a skirt, right?"

It was a perfectly reasonable question. And the real reason he had even agreed to come here.

Toshiro and Hinamori turned their attention back to the berry teen and the brunette girl stuck out her tongue while the chibi director practically bellowed out-

"Are you some kind of idiot? Of course you can still wear a skirt! In fact let's stop wasting time-Hinamori hand Ichigo the skirt you're wearing so he can try it on."

Hinamori looked like she'd rather swallow a mouthful of chloroform just then as she clutched the hideous looking garbage-bag-like skirt tightly and snubbed her nose down at Ichigo. "Like hell I will! This is mine go get your own!"

It was at this moment in time when Ichigo concluded that the drama club was apparently filled with a bunch of unstable weirdoes_. _

'_I really gotta think of another way to wear a skirt at school because I don't think this is gonna work.'_

"Hinamori! This isn't a game just give him the damn skirt!" Toshiro's voice thundered and both Ichigo and the brown-eyed girl jumped back a few feet.

After a moment or two Ichigo found his voice again, "Uh is there perhaps another skirt I could try on so you know you can get a general idea of how it might look on me?"

Toshiro let out a sigh that was a combination of tiered and irritated, "Yes actually there is a second skirt but it is not ready yet."

What did that mean?

Ichigo opened his mouth but the snow-haired man cut him off with another bellowing command of-

"Hinamori I've had enough of this-hand the skirt over now!"

With a great deal of reluctance Hinamori finally surrendered the skirt. She shimmied out of it and then kicked it over to Ichigo.

"There, happy?"

Toshiro was far from happy. If looks could kill his half sister would be lying in a puddle of her own blood. He returned his attention to the orange-haired boy and raised an expectant brow.

()

Despite how ugly it was on the outside Ichigo could say one good thing about the skirt. The feel of it, the moment it touched his skin-_oooooh_ so soft. Yes he could easily fall asleep in a skirt like this one.

"Hmm not bad."

Ichigo blinked not quite sure if the director had finally actually said something slightly nice about him.

"It will need to be adjusted of course-taken in at the waist and around the hem but yes this could work."

The students in the drama hall murmured in agreement. Not even the blond guy who'd made the crack about his name could seem to find anything negative to say about Ichigo wearing the puffy white ensemble.

"Um thanks."

What else was there to be said?

"The hell it is! He looks stupid-no awful-yes awful in my skirt!" Hinamori marched on over to the berry-teen and tugged at the skirt and snarled out a vicious "Take it off you strawberry attention whore if that is in fact your real name? Bet its not really your name," a sneer "Hell that's probably not even your natural hair color."

Apparently Hinamori had quite a mouthful to say.

Ichigo had heard more than enough insults for one day and since his mother had raised him right and he didn't believe in hitting girls, he did the only thing he could do at that moment.

Ichigo took off the skirt, tore it in a half and threw it back at the angry doe eyed girl. Then he turned and half bowed to the director, stepped off the stage and stormed out of the drama hall inwardly vowing to never come back.

()()

Putting his shit kicking boots to good use, Ichigo stomped his way back up to the first floor, so aggravated and agitated as he was, the berry teen failed to realize the hurried set of footsteps following him. And it wasn't until a hand settled on to his shoulder and forcefully spun him around that Ichigo stopped.

"You're pretty fast strawberry-shortcake-bro."

Ichigo's eyes snapped upwards as he instantly recognized the voice. He would not soon forget it.

"YOU!"

The wafer thin blond with the bull pendant necklace grinned down at the berry. "ME."

Ichigo glared up at the other boy and he half debated whether or not he should try his luck at socking a punch? There was no guarantee that his shot would connect-in fact the more the berry teen thought about it the more he reasoned that the power punch he'd thrown at the goateed student earlier had been nothing more than a burst of pure adrenaline.

"What do you want, did you follow me out the door just to hurl more insults at me?"

"Insults?" The blond looked mildly perplexed for a few minutes and then waved his hands when it clicked, "Oh no no no you got all wrong strawberry-shortcake-bro."

Brown eyes flashed and Ichigo practically spat out "I'm not your bro!"

The blond stepped back a few steps and then snickered lightly, "Calm down I didn't mean it in the literal sense its just uh," fingers fiddled with the cord around his neck, "It's how I get to know people you know, being friendly."

Ichigo was neither impressed nor convinced.

'Bull-boy' as the berry teen had decided to temporarily dub him was now rubbing the back of his neck.

"Look strawberry-shortcake-bro I meant no harm by it honestly," he took a step forward and placed his hand on Ichigo's shoulder again,

"It was just you know playful teasin' I do it to all the new guys who come to play in my back yard." Red wine colored irises raked over Ichigo's slim form just then and the blond cocked his head to the side, "You are a guy right? I mean all jokes aside I'd feel like a real dumbass if I was callin' a chick bro the whole time."

Ichigo blinked up at 'Bull-boy' in confusion half wondering if the kid was on some type of drug. "Er um no I'm a boy and like I said my name is Ichigo not bro but it doesn't mean strawberry and anyway I don't know why I'm telling you any of this but I really have to go now so-" He moved to step around the other boy but the blond blocked his path.

"Wait! Not yet strawberry-shortcake-bro I mean Ichigo 'least let me tell you why I chased after you just now."

Ichigo sighed. Honestly not sure how much more "abuse" he could take in one day. Well perhaps abuse was too strong of a word to use but whatever-he was tiered and wanted to go home! That's all!

"Fine, what is it?"

"You uh got a pen?"

A pen? What the hell did 'Bull-boy' need a pen for?

Ichigo studied the blonds' face searching for some type of explanation or answer.

"Look I'm not gonna ask for your number or your address or anything weird like that I'm just gonna write down some information."

The berry teen blinked. "Information?"

"Never mind, look just give me the pen and I'll let you continue you on your way, kay Ichi-bro?"

Ichigo still wasn't sure he should trust the other boy but he had wasted enough time as it was so…might as well move things along.

"Fine, here," Ichigo handed over his ballpoint pen and waited for the blond to write down the information or whatever but 'bull-boy' seemed to be waiting for something else.

"What? I gave you the pen."

The blond rolled his eyes and then without further warning he grabbed the berry teen's arm with a surprisingly gentle grip and scribbled down the information.

"Be sure you go here before four-thirty, knock twice before entering and then once you are inside you can tell _that_ guy that Hitsugaya wants both skirts ready for the dress rehearsal next Friday, not just the one." With these words the boy showed the torn skirt into Ichigo's arms.

Errr what? Since when in the hell was Ichigo some sort of errand/messenger boy? And for the drama club no less?

'_Is this what I've been reduced to?'_ After a moment the berry teen shook his head and mentally berated himself '_Wait! What the hell am I saying I'm the one who stormed outta there. Why should I care if-?'_

"Ahem Ichi-bro still talking here."

Ichigo snapped out of his inner thoughts and his eyes flew upwards to the blonds' red ones one more time. "Um sorry I guess?"

The blond gave a careless shrug, "No harm, anyway that should do it Ichi-bro, no hard feelings bout earlier and all that right?"

"Um yeah sure I mean no I guess not."

Too much was happening. Too much had happened. Ichigo's mouth and brain were pretty much running on autopilot now.

'Bull-boy' seemed content with this answer, "Good, good well before I officially depart from you, I'm gonna let you know my name," he stepped forward into Ichigo's personal space and leaned forward just a little bit too close for comfort and Ichigo felt his breath hitch-he knew it was stupid but for a second it almost seemed like the other teen was going to kiss his cheek or his mouth or something.

Luckily he did not, rather the blond moved straight past and went for Ichigo's ear, "The name is Grantz, Ilfort Grantz I'm sure you've seen my twin roaming the halls a time or two. Not that it matters since he and I are as different as night and day."

And just like that as quickly as Ilfort had come, he left and Ichigo felt more confused then ever.

'_What the hell just happened?'_

Releasing a sigh Ichigo glanced down at his palm and read the message that Ilfort had written there.

_**Ishida Uryu **_

"_**TRIPLE THREAD"**_

_**Room 4-6-7, Fashion Club**_

_**Be here at 4:30pm no later**_

'_Ishida hmmm for some reason that name sounds kinda familiar.'_

()()

TBC

**TEASERS/CLIPS:**

BECAUSE YOU'VE EARNED IT!

_Ishida Uryu was fully convinced that the best ideas came to him when it was just himself inside the room and the fabrics as his only company. Talking to fabrics might sound a bit strange but then again the bespectacled teen had always been a bit of a strange guy. Rather than thinking it to be a bad thing like most, Uryu enjoyed being strange because it meant he was unique and not a carbon copy clone._

_()_

_Whoever said it was impossible to have a hobby and a dream at the same time was a damned idiot._

_()_

_Uryu still talked to his mother on a daily basis and still joined her for tea and cake hour once a week. _

_()_

_When Uryu first arrived at the fashion clubroom it had been nothing more than a storage closet. _

_()()_

_Not that Halibel would ever admit it out loud because her pride prevented her from doing so but she had a great deal of respect and admiration for the younger teen._

_()_

SEE U AGAIN SOON. THANKS FOR READING AND YOUR PATIENCE

~SLY~


	6. 005 TRIPLE THREAD

**DISCLAIMER: ISHIDA HAS TURNED COATS. BLEACH IS ENDING. NO NO NO! NO I AM STILL NOT KUBO-SENSEI!**

AU, OOC-ness, language, spelling, grammar, punctuation, side pairings, BERRY-CHASERS A PLENTY including but not limited to IshidaxIchigo, InouexIchigo, GrimmjowxIchigo, AizenxIchigo, ByakuyaxIchigo, ZangetsuxIchigo…the rest to be revealed/announced in due time.

A/N Okay doke I'll admit I got a bit carried away with Ishida but …this is necessary…the rest will follow accordingly. But only one will come out the victor…but that's a secret so…

Some of YOU asked and so now SLY will answer (well sorta) FYI there is still a long way to go before Byakuya or Aizen show their faces…but Grimmjow…he'll pop up _much_ sooner…and that's all I'm gonna say for now and even that's revealing too much so…_you're welcome!_

GRINS

~SLY~

OVERALL CONCEPT OF FIC IS: DEDICATED/INSPIRED BY **CAS. She's awesome in more ways than one…go read her stuff…especially if you're a big Kuchiki Byakuya fan. GRINS.**

**SPECIAL THANKS FOR REVIEWING**: GOES OUT TO VOLUPTUOUS, NARUTOPOKEFAN, JULEMAKER AND OF COURSE CAS!

Additional thanks to Cas for her awesome taste in fashion and endless ideas/help and Voluptuous for her badass depiction of Halibel, thus the inspiration behind Hali-chan in this chapter. Thank you ladies!

THANK YOU TO ALL 24 FOLLOWERS/AND FAVES!

()()

**SKIRTING **_THROUGH_ **LIFE**

005 **TRIPLE THREAD**

(Scene change/View point change)

A fourteen-year-old girl with short chestnut blonde hair sits inside of a large brightly lit room and fans herself with a crunched up newspaper. One would never guess that it was one of the coldest months out of the year since she's currently sweating so profusely and her dark-haired companion isn't fairing much better.

"I think I'm about to pass out."

"Seriously it feels like a damn oven in here, how can he stand it?"

By "he" the two girls are referring to fellow student and fashion club president, Ishida Uryu. No matter how many times the duo asked the boy never bothered to explain why he insisted on blasting the heat so high even when it was clearly unnecessary.

"On top of that I'm sweating all my make up off."

"Loly, Menoly if you two insist on whining no one is stopping you from leaving, there's the door."

The words did not come from Ishida but a tall and curvaceous upper classmate named Halibel.

Well actually the bronze-skinned blonde was a foreign exchange student from the middle east and her name was technically Tier Harribel but Loly and Menoly had made the "mistake" of mispronouncing her name instead by addressing her as "Hairy-bell" one too many times and so voluptuous beauty insisted that everyone call her Halibel or Hali-chan.

"What are you talking about Halibel? We've only mended about ¾'s of this dress." (and by dress Loly was referring to the silky red backless cocktail gown that that total nitwit "Izuru" had practically stretched and ripped beyond repair)

Apparently the rip occurred during Izuru's mad haste to strip out of the costume before his older sister caught him in it and ran off to tell their parents or so the story went. Loly and Menoly didn't honestly care enough to find out. They simply mended what needed mending and that was it. The two best friends had joined the fashion club for one reason and one reason only. To get out of their music lessons.

Halibel's poison green colored eyes narrowed as she all but hissed out an impatient "Then get to it!"

Loly and Menoly knew better than to argue with the older girls' cool, smooth and bewitching tone and so with a huff and a few eye rolls the duo moved a few feet down in order to distance themselves from the blonde and then waited a moment before they continued their "conversation".

"Geez what the hell crawled up her crotch and died today?"

"Tch, seriously who does she think she is anyway? Always bossing us around, walking around in those 3 inch knee-high boots like she's some kind of goddess or something, ugh I can't stand her."

"That's just it Menoly, she's thinks she's better than everyone else but in reality she's nothing more than second best to Ishida."

"She's bitter and jealous because a boy is a better fashion designer than her and she'll never get over it you know? The fact that Uryu stole her title right out from under her nose-

"I can hear you two crystal clear you know."

Loly and Menoly cursed and then huddled more closely together and opted to continue their "trash talking session" through sign language.

Completely unaware of course that they're upper classmate was well versed in sign language as well as several other languages.

Halibel flicked one of her golden blonde bangs out of her green eyes and stood up in order to stretch. She had no idea why Uryu insisted on sitting in such torture contraptions (aka straight backed wooden chairs) but Halibel had never been and never would be a weakling so she went about her tasks with out complaint.

She glanced over at her younger friend and noted that the bespectacled teen was in his zone again, completely shut out from the rest of the world. Halibel smiled fondly.

Not that she would ever admit it out loud because pride prevented her from doing so but she had a great deal of respect and admiration for the younger student.

Uryu was so passionate when it came to fashion and so insanely talented that even in times when she turned green with envy, Halibel could not bring herself to hate the boy.

And despite what the two brainless twits in the corner claimed, Uryu hadn't stolen anything from her, Halibel had graciously stepped down when she saw the boys' talents far surpassed her own.

And what did a title mean anyway? More request/demands from the drama department? More ridiculous deadlines? A few extra credit points? Getting her close-minded bitch of a mother off her back for a couple of hours?

Yes Halibel supposed that getting away from her mother was the biggest bonus of all. Still…in all honesty the blonde rather be fondling her girlfriend Nel behind the alley of the local bakery right now instead of sewing yet another pink scarf for the "prince" of the drama club.

Halibel glanced up at the diamond-encrusted clock mounted on the far back wall and felt a smile pull at her mocha-cinnamon colored lips.

"Uryu, it's a 15 minutes to 4. I'm heading home now."

No answer. Of course Halibel hadn't expected one. It was very rarely that anything/anyone could pull Uryu out of his "zone".

The blonde collected her zebra shark-skinned handbag and matching coat, shut off the little light above her workstation and called out to the twins. "Menoly, Loly let's go!"

Even though the duo clearly disliked her they didn't dare argue. Loly and Menoly quickly and quietly collected their backpacks and matching boysenberry colored down jackets and followed Halibel out the door.

The girls parted at the staircase, which was just as well since Halibel had no desire to be in Loly and Menoly's presence for longer than what was deemed necessary.

()()

Ishida Uryu remained inside the fashion clubroom. This was routine for him. The bespectacled teen usually stayed long after everyone else went home. He enjoyed the quiet solitude.

Uryu was fully convinced that his best ideas came when it was just himself inside the room and the fabrics as his only company.

Talking to fabrics might sound a bit strange but then again the bespectacled teen had always been a bit of a strange guy.

Rather than thinking it to be a bad thing like most, Uryu enjoyed being strange because it meant he was unique and not a carbon copy clone.

Fashion and fabrics always fascinated the teen.

()

FLASHBACKS

_As a toddler Uryu had often watched as his mother readied herself for work each morning. He had watched as the woman paired light colored fabrics with floral prints and dark colored fabrics with stripes and plaids. Watched as his mother would wear only certain boots or shoes, jackets, blazers, coats, scarves and hats for certain occasions._

_On weekends when Kanae was home, Uryu watched the woman knit and crochet and sew the single most beautiful tapestries, rugs and curtains he had ever laid his young eyes on. For Uryu's 7__th__ birthday, Kanae made him a quilt in rich and bright fabrics of white, gold and royal blue. The bespectacled teen still slept on the very same quilt to this day._

_At age 9, after a great deal of begging and pleading, Uryu's father Ryuken, agreed to let him have his very own sewing machine._

'_I will allow it only if you promise not to fall behind in your classes and agree to enter this seasons chess tournament.'_

_Uryu had nothing against studying or chess so he so no reason to argue with the man._

'_You have my word, father.'_

_Kanae beamed at the pair of them 'Good it's all settled then, lesson one starts tomorrow.'_

_The woman showed the child the little things at first. How to make scarves and hats, socks and mittens and she smiled as she went through each and every step._

_()_

_It didn't take long for Uryu, just a little under 8 months, not that it came as a major surprise to the boy or his mother since he'd always been a fast learner._

_And as Uryu became more engrossed in fashion and his bond with his mother tightened, his father became more withdrawn and spent more time at the hospital then he did at home. Like most children, Uryu began to blame himself._

_Uryu and Kanae were getting dressed up for a night out on the town when the young boy turned to his mother with a slight frown and said, 'It's all my fault, isn't it? I'm the reason father never comes home and decides to sleep at the office all night long? I'm the reason father barely touches or kisses you anymore. It's all my fault.'_

_Kanae's makeup brush paused in midair as she turned to look at her one and only son. A moment later she mentally kicked herself-how had she not realized it sooner?_

_She released a heavy and sad sort of sigh and shook her head. 'No Uryu it is I who have failed both as a mother and a wife.'_

_Uryu's navy blue eyes grew wide 'No mother! How could you? Why on earth would you even suggest such a thing? It is I who have failed you as a son. I am the one who has driven a wedge between you and father but I don't want you to worry because I have a plan.' The ten year old suddenly declared._

'_A plan?'_

_The boy nodded and continued, 'Yes a way to remind father of your love for him, his love for you and the love you share.'_

_Honestly the idea had been brewing in Uryu's young mind for quite some time. 'Your anniversary is coming up! It will be the perfect time to renew your wedding vows.'_

_()_

_It worked but only for a short period of time. The Ishida family was sitting down to a Sunday breakfast when Kanae dropped the bombshell._

'_I've spoken to my lawyers the papers will be on your desk some time later this afternoon. I'm honestly sorry it had to come to this but I owe it to myself and to our son to be honest. This marriage is barely hanging on by a thread and I will not take much more, I will not!'_

_Ryuken, is not so much oblivious as he was distracted by the newspaper in front of him clucked his tongue, 'Whatever tantrum you intend to throw this morning can wait until Uryu has left to take his exams, now sit down and finish your breakfast, Kanae.'_

_Uryu looked to his mother then his father and then over at his mother again. Once he saw the look on her face he no longer had any desire to eat._

'_You're serious aren't you?' His throat suddenly felt scratchy and dry._

'_Very serious Uryu and I am sorry to put you through this but remember you can always come to me if you are in need of anything or if you want to chat.'_

'_I-I don't understand, where are you going?'_

_Kanae smiled sadly and answered, 'Not fat from here just a few blocks away. I will leave my new number and address with your father. You are welcome to come over at anytime, be it day or night.'_

_Well that didn't sound too horrible but still..._

'_Wait! But why aren't I going with you? I get along with you and I have a lot more in common with you then I do with him!' Uryu grew angrier by the minute and didn't feel his father deserved to be addressed as anything other than "him" at that moment._

'_A studio apartment is no place for a young boy, besides all of your things are here.'_

'_I don't care about any of that! It's just material things, easily replaceable but you-you're my mother how can you just-?'_

'_Uryu your mother has made her decision. Stop being selfish.'_

_Uryu glared at his father, not that the man could see it since he was still clearly far more interested in the stupid newspaper rather than his own family._

'_I'd rather go live with grandfather in the countryside then stay here with a heartless shell of a man like YOU.'_

_That seemed to break Ryuken's calm and indifferent façade as he all but slammed the newspaper on to the table and rose to his full height, his eyes flashing dangerously behind his silver lenses and his tone dropping to a chilling degree. 'What did you just say to me?'_

_Uryu swallowed the lump forming in his throat and then looked over at his mother, hoping the woman would jump in and calm his father down._

_Kanae did not disappoint as she quickly moved around to the other end of the small table and placed her hands on top of Ryuken's shaking fist, 'Come now Ryuken our son is not the target here, if you insist upon hitting someone then you should hit me.'_

_Ryuken blinked as if waking up from a trance and then clasped his wife's hands tightly, the glacier hard stones of his eyes softening, the tone of his voice now colored with hurt and confusion, 'What are you talking about Kanae? You can not seriously be thinking about leaving me after all this time!'_

_Uryu opened his mouth and then closed it. Was that desperation he was detecting in his father's tone now? He didn't think the man was capable of such a thing._

_For the first time in well…ever Uryu felt a certain amount of sympathy for the man but not enough to forgive Ryuken entirely._

'_She's leaving because she deserves more. The signs have been there for months you just opted to ignore them like you do with everything else.' Uryu spat bitterly. It was a low blow but he couldn't bring himself to care._

_()()_

_In the end his mother moving a few blocks away hadn't changed much. Uryu still talked with Kanae daily. He still met the woman for tea and cake hour once a week._

_Kanae made sure to attend all important events and occasions. And Uryu never missed a single one of his mother's fashion shows. Even when the woman announced that she was stepping down as the head designer of Q fashions so she could focus on her love life Uryu's bond with his mother on lystrengthened that much more._

_His mother was and always would be his greatest inspiration._

_He treasured her words and sought her advice._

_It was the boy's sole reason for agreeing to enroll in Seirei academy in the middle of the school year. Not that there was anything overly outstanding about the place other than the heavily publicized drama department but the academy was closer to Kanae's new home and that was all the reason Uryu needed._

_When the bespectacled youth caught wind that there was a fashion club somewhere with the walls of the academy, he jumped at the chance to meet other young designers who shared his passion. Only to met with bitter disappointment. _

_The clubroom was nothing more than a storage closet heavily marked with graffiti, cheap metal desks with deep gouges and scratches, a musty rug which had certainly seen better days, boarded up windows, rotten floors and puke green walls. The only positive thing Uryu could find in the room was the tall statuesque buxom blonde with poison green eyes and golden skin standing in the center. _

'_Halibel I presume?'_

_Hands poised on her shapely hips, green eyes glittering the blonde stepped towards Uryu. 'The one and only but what's it to a fresh-outta-the-water-fish like you?'_

_Not one to be intimidated or at least lead his opponent to believe that he was the type to be easily intimidated Uryu kept his voice even and calm as he pushed his glasses up higher on to the bridge of his nose and informed the young woman of his purpose for being there. 'Well for starters I'm here to put this room back into some semblance of order unless of course you have some sort of objection?'_

_Even if Halibel had had an objection it wouldn't have stopped Uryu. He was now a man on a mission. He would not rest until Seirei Academy had a real fashion clubroom. But if possible he would like to avoid any problems or miscommunications._

_Halibel took another step forward, clearly having no qualms about getting into his personal space, easily towering over Uryu with her 5'9 frame. But then again the ebony haired boy refused to flinch. Halibel would never respect him if he cowered here. _

_And if they were going to bring the dump of a closet up from the ground they would need to work together._

'_You've got guts fresh-fish, I've give you that,' she smiled just then and Uryu couldn't help but think the older girls' grin was very shark like. 'I like that.'_

_Uryu wasn't the least bit amused as he pushed up his glasses again and said, 'My name is Ishida Uryu and since we will be working together from here on out I would like for you to call me Ishida or Uryu and I in turn will call you Halibel-san.'_

_A thin blonde brow was raised, 'Oh you would, would you? Well in that case I'll just call you Ishida-chaaaaan.'_

_Uryu scowled. There was nothing child-like about him._

'_Just call me Ishida and I'll call you Halibel.'_

_Halibel snorted, 'Or I could just go right back to calling you fresh-fish?'_

'_I'd rather you not!' Uryu crossed his arms dropping all pleasantries._

_At last Halibel closed the last bit of space between them, instantly awarding the bespectacled youth with a whiff of her champagne scented perfume. _

_Even though it was not the best time do so, Uryu's mind began to spin wildly. He decided right then and there this woman (because really she was so much more of a woman than a girl) would be his muse._

_Yes yes he could picture it now. On the night of his debut…he'd call it 'Desert Champagne' Now if he could just get Halibel to agree to it then-_

'_And I'd rather you not address me as anything but Hali-chan, if you agree well then we can move on to more exciting things.'_

_Uryu could not be held responsible for his next move just then since after all he was a growing boy and even though he was quite sure he only held attraction for other boys there was just something about older schoolgirls. Girls like Halibel sparked his interest and awakened his libido. _

_He would not let their height differences be an issue, Uryu grabbed hold of Halibel's short and feathery golden blonde locks and pulled her down fully intending to find out if she tasted half as good as she looked but rather than being met back with a warm receptive mouth he was only met with teeth! _

_Instant pain. Mouth tasting of metallic crimson, Uryu stumbled back a bit as Halibel shoved him off and a way from her, the look on her exotic face now looking nothing short of down right murderous!_

_Her tone sharper than a butcher's blade, her eyes burning holes into him like acid, 'Listen up fresh-fish you ever try something like that again I'll bite your tongue clean off!'_

_Uryu shivered with a mixture of fear and delight on the inside but on the out side he kept his tone sincere and apologetic. 'My mistake.'_

'_Hmm mistake you say? Nice try but you don't have me fooled for a minute.' Her green eyes flashed and she continued, 'The small ones are always the biggest perverts.'_

_Uryu opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again. 'Okay you got me,' he swept his fingers through his silky dark bangs, 'I'm a bit of a pervert but its your own fault in a way for dressing so provocatively.'_

_The shark grin returned, 'Provocative you say? Tell me how is wearing a turtle neck, a sweater vest, a skirt and a simple pair of clogs provocative?'_

_Uryu rather not answer the question. But he knew Halibel would not let it drop so he had no other option but to answer, 'It's in your eyes, your stance, your voice…' He paused letting the words sink in before finishing with, 'Even if you were dressed in overalls and a flannel tee right now nothing could conceal your well…you know?' _

_Yes Uryu admitted he was a bit of a pervert but there were still certain things one should not say while in the presence of a lady._

'_You mean my tits? You can go ahead and say the word, their nothing special just extra globes of flesh.'_

_Uryu cleared his throat ignoring as his face flushed as the young woman squeezed herself through her clothes _

'_Yes well I think it would be best if we forget that any of this just happened and get to the real reason we're both here.'_

'_As you wish, come step into my office.' She turned over an empty paint bucket and sat on it gesturing for him to do the same. 'Let's chat.'_

_()()_

_It took about a month in order to get Principal Bach to agree to let them move the club to an actual room rather than a closet. Took an additional two weeks for the school to agree to properly funding their club but during this time Uryu and Halibel grew close-he would even go so far as to call the older girl a best-friend. No sister-yes more like an older sister he could confide in and depend on. _

_There weren't that many students interested in joining the fashion club, only 2 snobbish girls with too much time on their hands but it was fine._

_Uryu preferred to work in small groups or by him self anyway._

_It was his big dream to start his own fashion line even though Halibel had declined when he asked her to model the piece he designed with her in mind and even though his father loved to point out that he was 'too ambitious about something that would obviously never come true and that he should pour his energies into something more sensible and realistic' Uryu refused to give up. _

_And with his mother in his corner supporting him every step of the way he knew it was only a matter of time before he succeeded._

_()_

On this afternoon however Uryu's focus and attention was not on his big dream, no the sketches, the fabrics, the patterns, notes were set to the side so the ebony haired teenager could pour his energy into his second love, carving and painting miniature figurines.

It was his hobby. Something he did for fun and fun alone. Whoever said it was impossible to have a dream and a hobby at the same time was a damned idiot.

The kind of idiots Uryu did his best to steer clear of.

Uryu's hobby required the same amount of patience and precision that he used with a needle and thread or a pad and a pen. He found the act to be enjoyable and therapeutic.

()()

Guilt. It was only because Ichigo felt guilty for ripping the skirt in half that he was now making his way to yet another club. The name was 'Ishida' still dancing around in his mind. Why did it sound so familiar? Why was he growing more and more curious with each step he climbed? Hadn't Ichigo had enough excitement for one day?

()()

Ichigo knocked on the solid white wooden door feeling like a bit of an idiot as he stood outside in the empty hallway.

No answer.

He frowned and pressed his ear to the door, listening for the sound of voices or footsteps.

Complete silence.

Ichigo glanced down at his watch. It was only a few minutes after 4:30pm but it was watermelon casserole night and goat face was expecting him for dinner. Growing a bit impatient Ichigo knocked harder.

When still no sound was heard the berry teen decided to just say 'to hell with it' and turned the knob.

()()

The moment Ichigo stepped inside the room he found it was so damn hot he was almost having a great deal of difficulty breathing. What idiot turned the heat up to full blast?

Rolling up the sleeves to his mother's military jacket to about elbow length Ichigo stepped further into the room and did his best focus on anything but the heat.

Brown eyes scanned the area and Ichigo was beginning to wonder if he had made some sort of mistake or if Ilfort had just been pulling his leg.

Just like the drama hall. The fashion clubroom was nothing at all like Ichigo had been expecting. Lilac and cranberry colored paper lanterns were strung from ceilings, the walls painted soft baby blue with white washed base and floor boards, the charcoal gray granite flooring mostly covered with Celtic stylized area rugs, beautiful tapestries and curtains decorated each corner of the large room and everywhere Ichigo turned he was greeted by mannequins-no wait!

There in the far back corner an actual living breathing human being sitting behind a long cherry-wood colored oak desk.

'_**Could this be **__**that**__** Ishida?'**_ Ichigo wondered.

()()

Uryu frowned down at his latest piece of work. Mika-chan did not turn out the way he wanted her to. Her nose was too narrow and her eyes too spread apart-she was not nearly beautiful enough to be the empress in the kingdom. At best she'd be seer from the underworld. Hmm well all was not lost he suppose since Raiji needed a mate.

Feeling a little bit better about his slight error, Uryu reached for his paintbrush and dipped it into the cinnamon red-bottle and then went about painting Mika-chan's skin-completely unaware that he had a visitor.

()()

Ichigo wasn't really sure how he should approach the fashion club president. He didn't think it would be very mature to sneak up on the guy. Last thing he wanted to do was piss the guy off especially if it turned out to be the 'Ishida' he was thinking of.

()()

FLASHBACK

_Years ago…_

_When things were still good between Isshin and Masaki, the couple attended a lot of fancy galas and garden parties and brought Ichigo along to show him off because like all parents they were proud of their one and only son._

_Ichigo was often bored at these events because there was nothing for him to do and often more than not he went looking for (well not trouble exactly but adventure and excitement)-_

_Normally Ichigo would have Chado as his partner in crime but the older boy was spending the summer in Mexico with his grandfather so Ichigo was left to his own devices. _

_It was fine at first (he snuck into a pantry and entertained himself with the pots and pans for awhile) but there was only so many times he could play space astronaut before that became boring and so Ichigo ventured into another room._

_He could tell right away that the room was off limits by the sight of all the glass and expensive looking furniture. Look but don't touch. Easier said than done since Ichigo always had a fascination with all things shiny and the glass chessboard placed in the very center of the room was begging to be touched-well not really but he did it anyway._

'_You're not supposed to be in here.'_

_Ichigo jumped at the voice, felt the tiny knight slip from his grasp but thankfully did not drop the piece. He set the knight back down on the table and then turned._

_It was another boy who looked to be about his age only an inch or two shorter with ebony black hair and silver rimmed glasses. _

_Yes another boy who was sending which surely had to be the single fiercest glare Ichigo had ever been on the receiving end of._

_Ichigo raised a brow 'Who are you?'_

_The boy narrowed his navy blues eyes 'Excuse me I'm the one asking the questions here, who told you that you could come in here?'_

'_Uh um no one' Ichigo answered truthfully._

'_Then get out before you break something'_

_Jeez this other kid was kinda bossy. _

'_I wasn't doin' nothing.'_

_Ichigo noted that the other boys' glasses were slipping down the bridge of his nose, with a huff the kid pushed them back up _

'_The correct response is 'I wasn't doing anything' but there's no sense in pointing out such things to an idiot._

_Now it was Ichigo's turn to glare 'I'm not an idiot you're just mean.'_

_A snort 'I'm not mean I'm honest and anyway its only because you insulted me first.'_

_At these words Ichigo scratched his head. 'Huh?' What was this kid talking about? 'No I didn't!'_

'_Yes you did.'_

'_Fine I give up, tell me how did I insult you just now.'_

'_You failed to introduce yourself' navy blues rolled towards the ceiling 'That's bad manners.'_

_Hmmm sounded like something Kaa-chan would say now that Ichigo thought about it still…_

_A shrug, 'What does it matter? Why should I introduce myself?'_

_Another eye roll, the other boy was beginning to sound impatient as he continued to lecture the berry 'Because it's the proper way to conduct a conversation with a stranger.'_

_Ichigo cocked his head to the side studying the other boy curiously. _

'_Okay well if it really will make you feel better than I guess I'm sorry and uh in answer to your question, I'm Ichigo, Kurosaki Ichigo. I was named after the guardian of the sun, my sole purpose is to protect and defend. What's your name?'_

_The ebony haired boy opened his mouth to respond but was cut off mid sentence 'I'm Ishi-_

"_Ryu-tan we're leaving.'_

_Navy blue eyes widened at the voice and the strange kid jumped as if startled 'Ah um I'm on my way Okaasan,'_

'_Huh? Wait! So this isn't your home?' Ichigo felt confused._

'_Ryu-tan' shook his glossy head. 'No its not but I come here often with my mother and I know for a fact that-_

'_Ryutan! Come along let's not waste any more time.'_

_The boy cursed lowly and sent Ichigo a slightly apologetic look 'Trust me Ichigo you don't want Omaeda-san to catch you in here. Get out while you still can,' and with this cryptic type of warning he turned to leave._

'_Wait!' Ichigo called after the other boy 'You didn't finish telling me your name.'_

_The boy only looked mildly irritated as he answered 'It's Ishida, goodbye!'_

_()()_

_FLASHBACK END_

_()_

The temperature of the room pulled Ichigo from his brief moment in to the past. He wiped sweat from his brow. The sooner he could get this over and done with the sooner he could get away from this uncomfortable heat.

Deciding he had wasted more than enough time standing around Ichigo quickly approached the fashion club president almost positive that it was the Ishida he remembered from his child hood.

"Uh you probably don't remember me but we met years ago as kids, at a garden party."

The ebony haired teen didn't even so much as flinch or shrug at Ichigo's words. Concluding that he should just skip what ever reunion he had been half attempting and get to the point Ichigo cleared his throat

"So anyway I have a skirt here that needs to be uh fixed and a note from the drama director stat-hey! Are you even listening to me?"

"…"

Apparently not.

Rolling up his sleeves hadn't been enough. Ichigo had no choice but to remove the military jacket entirely and was honestly half tempted to remove the collared shirt he had on underneath it.

If this dragged out any longer he might just strip down to his underwear. Ichigo shook his head a moment later he really didn't want it to come to that.

So he tried to get Ishida's attention again. "Hey I know you're busy and all but so am I so if you could just take this skirt off my hands I'd _greatly_ appreciate it!'

After what felt like an eternity Ishida acknowledged him…well sort of if waving his hands in the opposite direction and saying 'Yes, yes you can set it down over by the mannequin' could be considered acknowledgement.

Ichigo scowled at the back of the other teen's head almost instantly concluding that this was in fact the same Ishida from years past.

That same condescending slightly nasal drip tone only an octave or two lower than he remembered.

Ichigo was unimpressed. Ishida couldn't even be bothered to turn around and look at him. What the hell was this?

"You know for a guy who preached so much about manners in the past you sure seem to have lost yours some where along the way."

"Hmm."

The most annoying part is when Ishida actually did choose to comment after a moments pause he wasn't even talking to Ichigo but at whatever he was fondling between his fingers.

Annoyance still present but being pushed to the side for the moment Ichigo bent over in order to see what currently had the other teen so distracted.

A tiny figurine made from well he honestly wasn't sure what it was made from…looked like some type of stone maybe? Not that he knew much about Ishida (actually he knew next to nothing about the other guy) Ichigo couldn't mask the surprise in his voice.

"Did you carve that?"

"Hmmm you're still missing something aren't you?"

"Huh?"

"Yes wings…you need wings and perhaps a tail."

"Uh-?"

Of course it wasn't until a moment later that the berry teen realized Ishida wasn't talking about him but to the 'doll' in his hands. He was beginning to think the guy was doing it on purpose.

'_**Bastard.'**_

He'd show him. An idea quickly forming in his mind Ichigo crossed over to the other corner in the large room in 3 quick steps and decided if Ishida was gonna insist on wasting his time then he might as well make the most of the situation at hand and try on some of the clothes the mannequins were wearing.

He reached up and selected a black and red long sleeved sweater dress with a cowl neck and held it up to his slim form.

It wasn't a skirt like he originally been planning but Ulquiorra had said he should explore more options and really what better opportunity was there than now?

Ichigo quickly chucked off his boots, stockings, skirt and oxford dress shirt all in one go.

()

Ichigo had only gotten his head through the top part of the dress when slight hitch of breath and a stifled moan reached his ears, making him pause and turn to find a red flush faced Ishida with glazed over eyes, glasses askew and a lily white hand down the front of his pants.

TBC

()()


	7. 006 APPETITE

**Disclaimer: BLEACH…I DO NOT OWN IT…BUT I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T COMPLAIN IF I DID!**

_**CAS**_: Sorry I didn't deliver everything I promised

**WARNINGS**: AU, Spelling, VIEW POINT SWITCHING, _**UBER OOC-ness, **_berry chasers/admirers at every corner and I mean _**EVERY**_ corner brief nudity, language, brief mention of unpleasant things, minor violence, abuse, bullying, punctuation, grammar, flashbacks, I think that covers it for the moment.

**Extra note on view point switching**: Ichigo is the main character and so his view point will always be shown but as for the other characters (Ishida, Inoue, etc…that will change with each chapter. I'll do my best to avoid weirdness and confusion.

THANKS/SHOUTOUTS TO _**CAS, VOLUPTUOUS, Narutopokefan, Rex888 **_and to 30 who faved this and to the 36 who are watching. THANK YOU LADIES (And perhaps a gent or two?!)

**A/N I have no excuse for the delayed update…well okay that's not entirely true but I don't think you care to hear excuses from SLY so that being said I hope you will find this chapter enjoyable. Inoue sort of stole the spotlight in this chapter…err apologies I guess. LOL.**

**THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND COMPLETE SUPPORT!**

_**Once again I ask you to show your patience and join me in a mini rewind time…shown from Ishida's POV**_

()()

**SKIRTING** _THROUGH_** LIFE**

006 **APPETITE**

_Previously…_

Ichigo had only gotten his head through the top part of the dress when slight hitch of breath and a stifled moan reached his ears, making him pause and turn to find a red flush faced Ishida with glazed over eyes, glasses askew and a lily white hand down the front of his pants.

_And now…_

_**REWIND**_

_**()**_

_**Uryu didn't fancy being rude and under normal circumstances he would have turned around and greeted his unexpected guest the proper way but the guy (whose voice sounded vaguely familiar) already proved to be enough of a distraction as it was, his weird breathing and hovering was very annoying. **_

_**Uryu felt any and all pleasantries were unnecessary since his guest was quite obviously an idiot.**_

_**Through the reflection of the mirror he took note of the military stylized jacket and skirt and could immediately recognize the fabrics as being a rare not to mention one of the most expensive in the line of fashion.**_

_**Interest piqued, because anything fashion related always drew his attention he took a moment to just study the other boy with out turning of course and felt a half smirk pull at his lips when the berry teen grew more and more impatient with each passing moment and simply decided that he'd had enough.**_

_**Not that Uryu could blame the kid since after all blatantly ignoring someone was bound to irritate and infuriate even the most patient of souls.**_

_**In an unexpected move the orange-haired teen moved to the other side of the room and decided to strip down to his underwear and not just any underwear but white underwear. **_

_**Uryu had a healthy appreciation for white underwear. The color it self represented fresh and clean and pure. All things that the bespectacled teen loved.**_

_**White against a darker canvas or surface was even more outstanding. The berry teen's skin was the color of a ripened peach. In all honesty he'd be far better suited for a sunny beach or a tropical island rather than a stuffy classroom in the middle of winter.**_

_**Like something straight up out of his inner fantasy world, Uryu shuddered and felt blood rush to his cheeks and his loins. **_

_**He adjusted his pants as best he could and then quirked a brow as the unsuspecting berry stood and grumbled to himself for a few minutes, seeming to consider something.**_

'_What's on your mind?'_

_**A moment's hesitation and then the orange head reached up on tiptoe and undressed one of the mannequins. **_

_**Deciding that watching the other boy through the mirror simply wasn't enough any more Uryu turned his chair and was careful not to make a sound as he did so.**_

_**It didn't take a genius to guess what was coming next but even knowing so didn't stop Uryu's excitement from sky-rocketing, he paid no mind as his favorite brush slipped out of his fingers and rolled on to the floor. He breathed in harshly and slumped lower into his chair, ignoring how the wood dug into his spine. **_

_**It suddenly seemed like time had slowed to a crawl when in actuality the scene was happening at a normal speed. And as the berry teen fiddled with the striped number Uryu did his best not to make any noise as he changed his position. **_

_**In truth the dress wasn't one of his favorites but as the berry teen went to put his head through it Uryu was quickly deciding that he might have to rethink his previous thought. **_

_**He could feel the blood rising more and more and it became quite clear to him that simply adjusting his pants wouldn't be enough he needed relief.**_

_**The other teen was the ideal height and had just the right amount of subtle curves-would with out a doubt look outstanding in the number. Red and black were most definitely his colors even if he did not know it.**_

_**Carefully, slowly Uryu moved to un-tuck his shirt and unzip the fly of his pants and touched himself, figuring a simple quick rubdown would be enough to relieve some of the pressure.**_

_**Sucking and biting into his bottom lip in order to stifle the moan that he could not fight back no matter how hard he tried, Uryu shut his eyes and let his vivid imagination carry him away.**_

_He pretended just for a few passing moments that the object of his sudden lust was standing much closer-no not standing but kneeling before him in the dress and then pausing to turn and look over a toned shoulder, with a wink the cute little berry would hike up the dress just a couple of more inches in order to flash the pristine white underwear he was wearing underneath._

_Looking 50 shades of shy and 50 shades of slutty all at once as he gazed up from beneath his pretty orange lashes._

_**Uryu's brows crinkled slightly as he reached out to touch his fantasy deciding it would be a lot easier to continue on if he had a name to call the other boy. He ignored as his glasses slipped down the bridge of his nose and rubbed himself more vigorously.**_

_**()()**_

A singular gasp quickly followed by a scream of horror reached Uryu's ears and broke the illusion.

Navy blue eyes slid open and he froze. Well this was truly an awkward what the fuck moment if there ever was one.

And to make matters worse now that the ebony haired teen was thinking more clearly he'd swear he could hear a little voice inside his head that sounded like a dead ringer for Halibel, chanting _'pervert, pervert, pervert'_ over and over.

Uryu winced and took his hands out of his pants. It wasn't so much the idea that he'd been caught in the act that bothered him as it was…

()()

"What the hell are you doing?!"

It seemed like forever and a century before Ichigo found his voice again and by then his face was brighter than a fire hydrant.

"Not only did you completely forget about your manners you've also become a raging pervert!"

Ishida stood up and swept his hand through his hair. Ichigo pointedly ignored thinking about where else _said_ hand just been not even 10 minutes ago.

Wiping the slight bit of moisture off his lenses before placing it back on his face, Ishida's tone sounded bored and detached,

"Humph perhaps you should think before you undress next time."

Bastard. This bastard and his infuriating condescending nasal drip tone. What in G-Holy hell was Ishida's problem? Guy couldn't even muster up an apology or-?

"Either put on the dress or take it off, don't just continue to stand there like an idiot."

Again with the insults?

Ichigo scowled. What the hell was Ishida's problem? Not the slightest amount of shame or regret colored his tone. Hell the asshole hadn't even bothered to zip up his pants!

Instead Ishida stood there and just tapped his foot impatiently somehow managing to make Ichigo feel small and inferior even though he was a whole 2 inches shorter and 15 pounds lighter than the berry.

"I'm not an idiot!" The berry teen half snarled/half whined and then mentally kicked him self for letting "Ishida" get to him.

Dawning recognition passed over the ebony-haired teen's face and he took a step forward, "Hn, Kurosaki, guardian of the sun, so it is you?"

Ichigo pulled the dress down the rest of the way then crossed his arms and glared at Ishida.

()

Uryu was amused though he didn't show it on the outside. What were the odds that his next potential muse would come waltzing into his clubroom on a random afternoon in January?

What were the odds that said muse would be a boy from his past?

()()

Ichigo cleared his throat not liking one bit that Ishida's face was unreadable not to mention the other teen's current state of undress. At the reminder Ichigo felt his face flame and knew he was no doubt now matching the exact shade of red in the dress.

Ah the dress it was unbelievably comfortable and pleasantly cool.

If Ichigo weren't so damn irritated right now he'd probably compliment Ishida on his work and inquire how the other teen had managed to make a winter ensemble feel so light and airy.

"So tell me Kurosaki what brings you to my clubroom?"

"It's Ichigo and I already told you-

Tone now casual and slightly mocking Ishida clucked his tongue, "Well then refresh my memory Kurosaki," he paused in order to cross one leg over the other and leaned against one of the desks before continuing, "As you can see for yourself I was a bit preoccupied when you came in."

Ichigo felt the vein above his brow twitch and bit out his answer, "I was _sent _here to do two things. One was to deliver a message to you and the other was to hand you the skirts that you yourself told me to just casually toss some where in corner."

Navy blues flickered off to the right for a moment before meeting brown once more. "Hn, I wasn't aware the drama club was accepting new members. Hitsugaya is usually more selective in his choices."

In order to clear up confusion and hurry things along Ichigo set the record straight. "I'm not a member of the drama club. I considered it for all of 20 minutes before I decided that it is simply not for me."

"Humph I see well then if you are nothing more than a simple messenger boy Kurosaki, what was with the skirt just now and more importantly why did you feel the need to try on one of my custom designs?"

Ichigo considered how he should answer Ishida's question and then decided that the truth was his best option. "I'm fulfilling a promise I made to my mother."

Navy blues widened and then dimmed turning an almost gray color and then in a complete 180 Ishida reached out and placed his hand on Ichigo's shoulder, his tone somber "I'm sorry for your loss."

Ichigo scowled and shrugged the hand off then snarled out, "She's not dead you idiot! She's just separated from my old man."

Hearing these words the bespectacled teen was understandably perplexed, "I'm not sure I understand what you are telling me Kurosaki. You're fulfilling a promise to your mother who is not dead but alive?"

Ichigo sighed. "Yes. Anyway it's complicated but never mind that the thing I want to know is what do I have to do in order to keep a dress like this one?"

()

While it was true that the dress wasn't one of Uryu's favorite's he couldn't just hand it over…at least not until he learned more and understood things better.

"Tell me Kurosaki-

"It's _**Ichigo**_," the strawberry boy practically spat out "I told you a million times my name is Ichigo."

Yes Ichigo of course Uryu could call the other teen by his first name at any time but there was no fun in that. "I will address you as I see fit to, now then Kurosaki tell me what is your fascination with that dress and for that matter woman's clothing in general?"

Could it be that the other teen carried a flame torch for the world of fashion and all things it entitled just as Uryu himself did?

Was it possible that he might have discovered a new muse and club member all in the same day?

The orange-haired teen jumped up and all but screamed out "IT'S NOT ABOUT HAVING A FASCINATION," a scowl, "Look Ishida I don't know why I'm about to share this with you but-

"Uryu, my name is Uryu."

A snort and sarcasm followed, "Oh is it? Well that's nice I'll be sure to use it when you start using mine."

Navy blues flickered behind designer lenses. Uryu was very amused. "Seems fair enough, now then you were saying?"

()()

"I'm fulfilling a promise I made to my mother, rather than shying away from my girly looks I'm embracing em' with open arms the best way I know how." Ichigo declared proudly though where the sudden burst of such pride had come from he didn't know.

"Yes by wearing skirts and dresses this much I grasp but what makes you think I'll agree to let you walk out of here wearing one of my designs when we've only just met?"

"But we _didn't_ just meet today," Ichigo felt the need to remind the other teen "But back when we were kids, so that should count for something right?"

"Humph so we did. Be that as it may it does not count," with a slight smirk playing on his lips Ishida flicked off the lamp overhead and straightened his stance.

Ichigo frowned. From the sound of things Ishida wasn't going to let him wear the dress never mind that the smug pervert had all but drooled at the sight of him in it.

"Come on you've practically seen me naked and I saw you um do that thing you did just a few minutes ago so that should _surely _count for something."

If he could just strike some sort of deal with the ebony haired teen he'd be all set for tomorrow. "I'll borrow the dress for a few days and then return it to you next week."

Ishida looked decidedly thoughtful for a moment and then carded his fingers through his fine hair and released a sigh,

"Alright I'll tell you what Kurosaki invite me over for dinner and I'll not only let you wear my dress home, I'll give you the opportunity to try on all of the other dresses you see right here in this room."

Dinner? Dinner in exchange for wearing uber cute clothes? Ichigo knew he would be a fool if he passed up such an opportunity still…

"I'd really like to try on more skirts, as much as I love this dress I think it's a little too soon and I really don't wanna give my old man a heart attack."

()()

Uryu laughed lightly. The only skirts available at the moment were part of Halibel's collection and he knew better than to touch the older girls' belongings without her consent. He wouldn't dare or would he?

It wouldn't be an impossible feat and what the blonde didn't know wouldn't hurt her so…

"Give me a couple of days and I'll show you a whole closet filled with cute tops and skirts."

()()

A couple of days? Well that didn't sound too bad but Ichigo had been really hoping for right now. He wanted to have a different out fit for school tomorrow and even though Ulquiorra was supposed to take him out shopping in the afternoon he didn't want to wait that long.

'_I suppose I can wear what I wore today a second day in a row if I wash and iron it carefully when I get home.'_

Suddenly Ichigo felt a hand at his back and almost just as suddenly the other boys' lips were by his ear, "We'll talk about the finer details over _dinner_."

"But-

"No buts Kurosaki," Ishida said ignoring the berry teen's protest as he led the other to the door, "I'm not asking for much just a little dinner and_ perhaps_ a tour of your lovely chateau?"

A tour? Wasn't that a bit much? Why was the other boy being so pushy? "You can't just invite yourself!"

At Ishida's sharp look Ichigo quickly amended, "I mean I should at least clear things with my old man first and-

"All the more reason to head there now and as it just so happens I need to have a few words with your father, so we'll essentially be killing two birds with one stone this way."

Huh? Why would Ishida want to talk to goat face?

Orange brows furrowed and Ichigo turned to his companion. "What do you want with my old man?"

Ishida clucked his tongue and shook his head. "You never mind that Kurosaki just keep walking."

()()

The duo made it down to the first floor without much of a fuss and then Ishida's nasal drip tone broke the companionable silence.

"Can you kindly pick up your feet when you walk Kurosaki," an eye roll, "I mean honestly you're worse than a bull in a china shop."

An orange brow twitched and Ichigo griped, "Well maybe if you didn't follow me so damn closely, it wouldn't be an issue _pervert."_

The last part was muttered lowly but he was quite sure Ishida heard it because rather than giving Ichigo the space he desired or removing his hand from his lower back, the other teen only grew bolder and more perverted, his palm now caressing the berry's behind.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

A light chuckle, "You should consider wearing panties in the future, Kurosaki."

The hell he would. Dresses and skirts were one thing but girly panties or undergarments was something Ichigo did not even want to consider-let alone hear it from another guy-why the hell was Ishida even suggesting such a thing?

"Whatever I'm not going to do any of that. Now take your damn hand off my ass before you make me angry."

"You say this and _yet _you haven't made any real effort to distance yourself from me."

The hell was that little extra inflection in Ishida's nasal drip tone just now? What ever it was the berry teen did not like the effect it was having on him. Ichigo assumed he and Ishida were the same age (give or take a few months difference) and yet since when did a fourteen-year-old guy act like such a pervert?

Ichigo was about to whirl around and clock Ishida upside his ebony head when the sound of clicking heels reached his ears. He froze and felt Ishida freeze a moment later.

"Expecting someone, Kurosaki?"

"What? No! What are you-?"

"Shhh! Let's be quiet for a minute and see if they go away."

"What makes you think I'm going to take orders from y-mmmmrphh!"

Having his friends cover his mouth was one thing having Ishida cover his mouth was quite another. Ichigo glared and half considered biting the hand that was muffling him.

()()

The sound of clicking heels grew nearer and nearer and louder and louder. Uryu's navy blues widened and then he released a groan and soft curse "Shit! It's her. Not again. Why the hell does it have to be her?"

He ignored his berry companion's questioning look and dragged the other boy back with him into a corner. He was hoping against hope that he had it wrong. That it wasn't "her" but knowing it most likely was. He felt Kurosaki squirm in his hold and reluctantly decided to release the other teen.

()()

Ichigo was confused. Really truly confused. What was Ishida talking about? Her who? He watched as the other teen all but had a nervous breakdown as he slumped back against the lockers and slid down to the floor and let out a tortured sort of groan.

What on earth?

"Ishida what's going on? Why are you freaking out?"

()()

Uryu shook his head and didn't answer. Kurosaki would find out soon enough and once he did he'd feel the need to hide from "her" too. In fact rather than trying to hide, instead of sitting here, waiting for the inevitable Uryu decided that now would be an ideal time to hide inside one of the lockers-he would better his chances. He wouldn't have to face her.

"Don't tell her I'm here and please whatever you do Kurosaki, do not let her get too close to you. You should keep at least 5 feet of space from that "demon" at all times or trust me you'll regret it."

"I don't understand what you mean, please Ishida you aren't making any sense right now. Who are you so afraid of?"

Rather than giving the berry teen the answer to his question Uryu opened one of the lockers and shoved himself inside it feeling a bit guilty for not dragging the other boy with him but it was too late for that.

She was here.

()()

Ichigo tried once again to get Ishida to explain himself but all the other teen said was a cryptic "Beware of her appetite."

Ichigo frowned. Beware of her appetite? That didn't even make any sense. What was going on? Why was Ishida acting so weird? The berry teen was pulled from his thoughts at the familiar…

"Kurosaaaaaaaaaki-kuuuuun!"

Inoue?

Ichigo turned around to see that it was in fact the head cheerleader making her way towards him just then.

As usual the princess was smiling brightly and waving.

After a short jog she stopped right in front of Ichigo and the berry did his best to ignore the strange chill that ran through his body.

"I'm so happy I ran into you Kurosaki-kun, cheerleading practice ran a bit late today so I was sure everyone else would have left already and yet here you are." Inoue paused and swept her eyes over his body.

It was at that exact moment when Ichigo remembered he was still wearing the dress. He felt his face grow hot and stumbled over an explanation, "Uh Inoue I know this might seem a bit-or rather I might look a bit weird right now but uh it's not what it looks like."

Gunmetal gray eyes flickered back up to cinnamon and coffee brown. "No worries Kurosaki-kun I mean I'm not the kind of girl to pass judgment I mean it is a bit weird and it'll take some getting used to but," she stepped a little closer and tucked stray lock of caramel colored hair behind her pierced ear. "Um what made you want to dress up like a girl so suddenly?" (1)

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck. "Eh um well its kind of a secret."

"A secret oh you mean like a dare or something?"

Ichigo shook his head. "No it's more of a personal thing, no offense Inoue but it's not something I want to talk about."

A slight frown marred Inoue's flawless features and Ichigo felt a bit guilty.

"Look Inoue if I tell you something do you promise not to share it with anyone else?"

And just like that the frown was gone and once again the brunette was beaming up at him. (2)

Ichigo dimly wondered if Inoue even knew how to smile normally and then shook his head and continued, "I'm doing it for my dad, he's been really down lately and I just want to do what I can to make him laugh."

It was a lie that came to him out of nowhere. A ridiculous lie but Inoue didn't have to know that.

"I see erm um well that's very nice of you wanting to bring a smile to your father's face and all."

"Yeah my oyaji's a little weird but when it's all said and done I love the idiot."

Well that part was at least true.

"So anyway Kurosaki-kun about Saturday night, we're still on right?"

Ichigo really wished he could get out of open mic night but he was already committed and so all that was left for him to do was reaffirm his answer, "Yep I'll be there unless _uh_ you want me to pick you up or something?"

In all honesty he doesn't fancy the idea-doubts there is anything remotely cool about picking up a girl on a bicycle but Ichigo is only 14 and a bus would be even tackier. And there not a chance in hell he'd ask goat face to play chauffeur so…bike it is but hopefully Inoue will have her own form of transportation.

Perhaps if things were different and she was in fact his girlfriend and if he was in fact interested in having her as a girlfriend they'd look kind of cute on twin bikes but…such was not the reality that was Ichigo's life.

"No need because a bunch of us are riding with Jackie, she just got her license you know?"

No Ichigo did not know. It wasn't his nature to keep tabs on other students-let alone a senior girl.

"We could come pick you up if you _like_?" Inoue's tone was once again hopeful and Ichigo felt more guilt creep over him as he declined.

"No thanks I mean I'll meet you there although I might be a little late because Keigo always takes forever to go anywhere."

Well that was only the half-truth to Ichigo's reason for declining.

The second part and the more important part was the berry teen didn't think traveling with a bunch of cheerleaders would amount to anything good-if things got out of hand or unpleasant at the karaoke bar he wanted a quick escape.

He does not want to have to rely on any one else in order to get home.

A brief flash of annoyance shined in Inoue's eyes and then disappears just as quickly. So quickly Ichigo convinced himself that it is just his imagination.

It's been a long day and his eyes are playing tricks on him. Yes surely that must be it because Inoue isn't the type of girl to get angry.

The princess released a small giggle and then placed her hand on his arm, "You're such a good friend, Kurosaki-kun."

Ichigo shrugged. He's known Keigo since his diaper days so he was used to the other boys' antics.

"So anyway about the dress, its totally cute and all but your boots don't really match with it."

Ichigo opted not to say anything because he doesn't know what to say.

The princess pressed forward "If you want I have another pair of heels in my locker and-

"Uh thanks but no thanks Inoue like I said this is just-I'm just cheering up my old man. That's all. I think if I walked in with heels on it would be over doing it."

Inoue laughed nervously just then "Oh yes of course! Um how silly of me let's just forget I said anything and um," she fiddled with the ruby ring around her pinky finger and then looked up at him from beneath her heavily lined lashes. "I guess I better head home now but um like I said I'm really I happy we got to have this chat, Kurosaki-kun."

What else could Ichigo do/say outside of, "Yeah Inoue, me too."

And with that Inoue turned to leave, her caramel colored locks practically whipping him in the face.

If Ichigo were a boy in love he would have sighed dreamily just then but he was not a boy in love.

So instead he just frowned slightly and watched the girl disappear from view before turning back to the locker, knocking on it twice to get Ishida's attention.

()()

Once Inoue Orihime was away from the strawberry boy the radiant pageant queen like smile she always donned slipped off her face and transformed into something far more dark and devilish.

Kurosaki-kun was truly too sweet and naïve for his own good. He didn't have the slightest idea of what her true intentions were. Didn't have the slightest clue about what her long-term goal was.

Kurosaki-kun was the one. The one who would succeed where all others had failed, he would satiate her ravenous appetite once and for all.

And by appetite the princess wasn't referring to her love for food though she could easily eat enough food fit for 20 grown men and still have room left for dessert.

But no she was referring to another type of appetite. Her insatiable appetite for the members of the male species, that is.

It wasn't Orihime's fault really-life had simply dealt the princess a shitty hand. Perhaps if she hadn't developed at such a rapid rate already filling out a B cup before she even reached her 12th birthday-perhaps if her parents had just listened and sent her to a private boarding school instead of dumping her off on the footsteps of Sora-nii-san's cabin up in the mountains her appetite never would have come about.

Or more accurately maybe if her parents hadn't been so neglectful and her older brother hadn't wasted every hour of every day high as a kite on drugs he wouldn't have thrown that damn house party! If only Sora had been a good brother-a fiercely protective brother, his sleazy band mate would have never made a move and her virginity would still be intact.

What ifs and if Only? Constant questions that Orihime asked herself when she looked in the mirror everyday-when she pulled up her soiled panties and climbed out of the backseat of trucks and vans-when she kicked the poor bastards to the curb with her sparkly stilettos and sneered down at them and announced in a haughty, belittling sort of tone,

"_You're nothing more than food. I need you to survive-to carry on but once I've had my fill you're no longer needed."_

The fat, the scrawny, the nerdy, the brawny, the weak, brave, socially awkward and sexually confused, these were the kind of guys Orihime sought out, seduced and bedded.

And why? Because they were desperate, damaged fucked up little puppies and she was doing them a favor.

Poor bastards would do just about anything to get _15 minutes in heaven_ with the cheerleading princess.

This was all a secret of course. No one knew about this side of Orihime-well no one that mattered knew anyway. Those that did know (or more accurately the willing participants) were too scared or proud to tell.

At the end of the night when it was all said and done Orihime hated her self. Hated the story that was her life. Sometimes she wished for an early death-an easy out-blissful, wonderful perfect silence.

But bringing about her own death was not the answer because she was fully convinced that if she dared to take her own life the moment she entered the after life her existence would be a million times worse.

And so she continued to rise each and every day and told herself that everything would be fine. NO things would be _better_ than fine because Kurosaki-kun was going to save her.

Orihime was tainted, soiled and damaged-she was everything the strawberry boy was not.

He would purify her.

Shyer than most but twice as intelligent, well with the exception of when it came to seeing a person's true face but it wasn't the strawberry boy's fault.

Kurosaki-kun had so many worries-worried for his friends-his family-his enemies-he never stopped to think about himself.

That was okay though because Orihime would help her strawberry boy.

She would teach him to be selfish and she would show him what a perfect couple they could be.

Ahhh Saturday night couldn't get here quick enough.

()()

The following afternoon…

"Kurosaki Ichigo you look like you haven't slept a wink."

Ichigo looked up. Honestly he had been in a bit of a daze all morning and couldn't even remember getting on and off the bus and heading towards downtown Seirei. Didn't even know how he wound up standing right in front of the ice skating rink and he probably would have remained in the zone if the familiar voice hadn't called out to him.

"Hmm? Oh hey Ulquiorra, sorry I'm a bit late. I had to take care of something."

"It is fine. I've only been waiting for ten minutes, here I bought you something." At these words the green-eyed boy shoved something cold into Ichigo's hands.

Ichigo looked down. Frozen yogurt and a spoon? "Uh Ulquiorra it's a bit cold for this I mean-

He trailed off at the sight of his new friend making a very human like expression. It was the closest thing to puppy eyes and since Ulquiorra's eyes were already fairly large the sight looked even more sad and pitiful.

Ichigo quickly decided that he couldn't stand the sight and so he pulled the plastic tab off and dipped the spoon into the tiny half frozen tub and scooped some of the frozen yogurt up and then shoved it in his mouth, only to let out a scream a moment later. "Gah, brain-freeze!"

Ulquiorra looked the closest thing to alarmed a guy like him could look and then blinked owlishly at the berry teen. "Should we head to the nearest hospital if your brain is freezing up?"

What?

Ichigo held his second and middle finger to his head willing the "freeze" to subside and when Ulquiorra's words fully registered in his brain he let out a barking laugh. "Ha! That's you're-ha-ha you're such a funny guy Ulquiorra."

Ulquiorra pinned him with his unblinking stare and Ichigo swallowed hard.

"Uh-?"

"There is nothing funny about what I have just said, Kurosaki Ichigo. I am genuinely concerned for you and I do not appreciate your laughter right now."

Sheesh talk about a buzz kill not that Ichigo was actually buzzed but- He clapped the shorter boy on his slim shoulder and said, "Listen Ulquiorra I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings just now but you've got to learn to lighten up man, you're too serious."

"I weigh one hundred and thirteen pounds Kurosaki Ichigo, any lighter and I would surely fly away."

Ichigo couldn't help it he just-Ulquiorra was too much-he broke out into a fit of giggles. "Hahaha Ulquiorra haha you're ha-ha really killin' me right now ahahahaha."

"Once more you speak of me as though I am inflicting some sort of bodily pain on you and yet your face is all lit up and you are laughing," Ulquiorra paused and pressed the back of his palm to Ichigo's head. "Are you sure you are felling okay, Kurosaki Ichigo? Perhaps we should postpone this shopping trip for another day?"

At the unexpected question, the berry teen stopped laughing. "What? No! I've been thinking about this all day and I know you blew off your recital in order to take me shopping so why would I want to cancel."

Ulquiorra said nothing for a few minutes and only took the time to study Ichigo, looking at him as though he was equally the strangest and most interesting person all at once.

For reasons the berry teen couldn't explain he felt his face warm and looked away.

'_What is this? What the hell is going on with me? Why am I suddenly blushing around other guys like this? Could it be that Rukia sensed something in me that I've been denying from the start? Ulquiorra does look really huggable in that fuzzy down jacket right now and his cheeks seem even paler now that we're out in the sunlight.'_

Ichigo shook his head fiercely as the series of thoughts entered his mind. Then he scowled deeply and then cursed at himself.

'_Stop! Stop! This isn't me! No I'm not-there's no way I could be-this is all Ishida's fault, putting all those thoughts in my head yesterday.'_

Ichigo was pulled from his mini berating session at the sound of a loud ear-grating squawk that could only belong to…

"OI! ICHIGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ichigo squinted his cinnamon and coffee brown eyes into the sunlight as one of his long time friends crossed the street and waved wildly.

He held up his hand by way of greeting and called out to the other teen, "Yo, Keigo!"

()()

TBC

**Bottom Notes: Yes I am well aware that I shouldn't have ended the chapter there. I also am well aware that now that the cat's basically out of the bag what with the nifty new true pairing feature added I should hurry up and bring "HIM" into the story…but alas he isn't going to show his face quite yet. I also am well aware that I hinted at Ichigo possibly being attracted to Ulquiorra even though I said they would probably just be friends…in my defense it came about randomly. Sighs…anyway on wards…**

**I've always referred to Inoue as a brunette in all of my fics. I was once criticized for doing this…which is stupid but anyway…Inoue is technically a brunette…caramel (the color that Kubo-sensei uses with his manga is more brown then red…however there is a certain reddish hue or shine too it but still I consider her a brunette. Most fans consider/call her a redhead…because in the anime she has sun burnt reddish-orange hair. Whatever. In my mind…my preference the only TRUE orange head is Ichigo. You don't like the way I do things/write things…move on to a different story/author/**

**Ironically or whatever…it is the exact opposite when it comes to the princess' eye color…I prefer writing/describing her eyes as silver/gray or some variation of the two because that is how she is shown in the anime…I'm pretty sure that her real eyes are brown though but again…brown is just…whatever…its not exciting enough…LOL…I have brown eyes but I wish they were green…lalala blah blah blah…anyway it is what it is…don't like it…imagine something else or move on.**

**THANK YOU FOR READING!**

**APOLOGIES FOR POINTLESS RAMBLING AT THE END.**

**HOPE TO SEE U AGAIN SOON**

_**~SLY~**_


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